Brothers again
by fugitivus
Summary: Return-fic. Uchihas are back in Konoha and try to live a normal lives. Itachi takes care of his younger brother, who still needs to redempt himself. As painful past haunt the brothers they struggle to mend their relation. Drama, Angst, Family. [just to be safe: angst, some minor violence, swearing, non-explicit mature themes]
1. Meeting

Itachi walked in circles in front of the Konoha Prison's gate. He searched through his pockets again, although he already knew he hadn't brought any cigarettes with him. He was not a regular smoker, but in the times like this one a cig would do him good. Today his younger brother was going to be released form prison. He had been waiting for this day in anxiety. Truly, he didn't know what should he expect after Sasuke's one-year detention in that place. Konoha, in its way of treating the criminals and prioritizing raison d'état presented, what one could euphemistically called, "traditional approach". The existence of such institutions as this prison or secret services, research facilities that conducted experiments on humans and so one reminded attentive observers that Konoha is not so humanitarian as it posed to be. Undoubtedly the village positivelly stood out from the others _sato, _involving in peace-making missions and having introduced many elements of democracy. But Itachi, who had worked for years in the cogs of that dark system, was aware of this facade. Maybe he didn't approve all of what was happening in Konoha, but understood that peace didn't come for free and accepted the way it was. From the other side, he would never allow something extreme to happen to his ototou. Surely a prison was not a 5 star hotel and Sasuke might had a harsh time, but the deal with the elders was that he shall not be subjected to any torture and he shall not suffer any bodily harm.

The gate grated. Slowly the crack between massive iron grew wider and wider. Itachi's heart rate sped up. Stress crawled from the stomach to his hands, leaving them shaking. _What he will tell him? Will he manage to deal with him?_ No... It's just a guard standing between half open doors, waving at him to come closer.

"Uchiha-san! You're too late, Uchiha Sasuke has been taken to Hokage." the guard seemed a little bit apologetic and sorry for Itachi as if it was his fault Sasuke was not there.

"Already?!" Itachi was taken aback. He had been preparing for today's meeting from a long time; he'd imagined he would talk to his brother before and then accompany him to negotiate what happen next with Sasuke. And now all the planing turned useless. _Kuso,_ the sudden change made him so nervous."Do you have a cigarettes? Thank you."

The guard fired a cigarette for him and hid behind the gate. The door closed with the sound of thunder. Itachi breathed in deeply trying to calm down and think as the smoke filled his lungs. He noticed that he was not in a hurry. He felt like a kid that doesn't like school and is late or misses classes on purpose. Uchiha realized that and instantly felt ashamed. He - a ninja who had gone through impossible missions (and who was probably the strongest in Konoha, though his natural modesty didn't let him admit it) , he - a leader who ensure safety for a village, got scared of Sasuke. Of his youngest brother who needed his help and support! He bitterly realized that more and more often he was thinking of his brother as a burden - that he would need to take care of him, worry about him, and probably try to fix him. Itachi finally moved and now was slowly passing the alleys. _Now it's too late_, he justified himself. He sat down on the bank in the park before Hokage's tower and finished his cigarette. _No, no, no! He behaved like a perfidious coward. That's enough! He just can't do this to his little brother._ He tried thinking about meeting Sasuke as a mission and it helped. He gathered what had left of his courage and moved to the tower.

Itachi saw his brother sitting still in the corridor near the door, behind which the council meeting should be taking place. Relief flew through Itachi's body. Sasuke was alive, alive and healthy! He was not handcuffed and the guards at the corners seemed to be just normal security measures for Hokage. He thought it was a good sign. Sasuke was clad in black, in his prison uniform, the color matching his even darker hair, now long enough to lie on his shoulders. He was like a stain of ink on the whiteness of the walls, irregularity of his shape destroying the tranquility of the space. The boy stared lifelessly at the floor in front of him and turned his head up only when Itachi already stood before him. Their eyes met. Moment later grimacing at the sudden touch Sasuke was lost in Itachi's tight embrace.

"Good to see you again, brother" – Itachi wispered with a tight throat. He finally let him free and sat beside him, keeping his palm on Sasukes forearm, willing to keep physical contact. He breathed heavily from the sudden outburst of emotions.

"You've come" – said the younger Uchiha with a flat voice, averting his eyes. Was he doubting? After the first moment of affection awkwardness emerged.

"Sasuke? Things are good between us again, right?"


	2. Council

"Sasuke? Things are good between us again, right?" Ototou's indifference took Itachi aback. He caressed Sasuke's hand in what was supposed to be a reassuring gesture, but the boy withdrew it from brother's touch.

"Mhm" younger Uchiha murmured weakly what Itachi hoped was a 'yes', still avoiding the eye contact.

"Listen, what's going on there?" changing the topic, the man pointed at the council room.

"They took me here, ask some question, gave some moral preaching..." this time the boy spoke a lot, still calm, but undertones gave out he was irritated. "Now they quarreling because Hyuuga wants me in his collection, but Ibiki likes his job even more. But you can hear almost everything they're saying if you focus."

That's true. The council meeting behind the door was definitely the loud one. Itachi could make out pieces of what they were saying.

" ... hoped he would be military useful... if we apply appropriate measures for the type like him..."

"... you have more than enough time... wasted it..."

"... useful or not... possessing him... propaganda value...show other villages ... deal with our rough, tame every monster..." – _Monster_? Itachi didn't like the word describing his little brother but that epithet was painfully accurate. Sasuke messed up terribly, no surprise that people were extremely wary and biased. Boy's rebel nature only added up into this. Now many people was convinced, and Itachi was one of them in fact, that to fix the young Uchiha, to make him understand his mistakes there was no other way than "the hard way".

"... appropriate... such as a clan... keep him under control...my clan gives the best guarantee..."

The door finally opened and a guard came out to call Sasuke. The boy entered obediently, a little bit paler and his shoulders hunging more than before. Obviously, Itachi came in as well. Although he was not to defend or justify Sasuke's deeds, he wanted to show – to his brother as to all other people - that Sasuke had his support.

"Uchiha Sasuke, come closer!" Tsunade's order was the first thing that reached their senses. The fifth Hokage was sitting in the middle behind long white table. At her left were Nara Shikaku and Kakashi, at her right Hyuuga and Ibiki. The chamber was rather small and created the atmosphere of a quite low key meeting, despite the fact that Sasuke's release was the talk of town for weeks. The older Uchiha went to the right side of the room, but it was so small that he was no more that a few steps away from his brother. It turned out to be a great point to observe Sasuke profile, what he hadn't dare to do so openly before. His face seemed tired, some strands of too long hair sticked to his chin. The visible cheek was covered with fantastic black patterns that sealed Sasuske's sharingan. Itachi knew that there were also other seals on his torso blocking his chakra. Boy could no longer be a ninja, that was sure. Memory of how this happened flashed through older Uchiha's mind, giving him uneasy feeling. But soon he recalled that it's all Sasuke fault, this idiotic brother of his, who apparently hadn't learnt much in prison, because now he arrogantly eyed Ibiki.

"Why haven't I been informed?" Itachi asked in a firm tone to state that he is not somebody you could ignore, especially if it was about his ototou.

"You managed to be in time" Ibiki shrugged his shoulders. He didn't like Uchihas and showed this on every occasion.

"What is the decision about my brother?"

"In short?" Tsunade took the floor and hit the official tone. "Uchiha Sasuke, you are on the parole now, under my direct command exercised by myself and my supervisor. You are to report to him daily, he will assign work for you. You are prohibited from participating in military or paramilitary activities and that includes training as well. You cannot possess weapons or leave the village without my prior consent. I sustain deprivation of civil rights and protection of law."

Itachi felt a wave of relief washed over him. That was... just. Not cruel and not too soft. Sasuke was not pardoned , but was given a chance. He might still change, atone for his mistakes - at least that's what the older Uchiha hoped for.

"How long?" ask the parolee, he was stiff, face unmoved like a mask.

"Oh, that's depends only on you" – Hokage came back to unofficial tone. "The rules are simple –you make troubles, you're back in prison. Try to convince us we didn't make mistake by being so lenient with you. Behave well so we will give you more freedom. Maybe we even let you serve again. The next council will be in 3 months. Today at 3 p.m. you are meeting your supervisor, captain Yamato.

"What?!" three voices simultaneously asked. Ibiki and Hyuuga stood up in indignation, Kakashi stare at Tsunade in disbelieve. Only cunning look of Nara gave away that it's not a spontaneous idea.

"I said what I said" she ended discussion "Council is over, you can leave now."

Sasuke didn't need to hear this twice. He went out, ignoring the arguing council members and even his brother. Itachi caught up with him at the stairs.

"What! I'm not worth waiting?!" Itachi yelled already irritated.

Instead of an answer Sasuke just shrugged his shoulders without looking at him.

"Ohhh, give a break! Stop acting like a child!" Itachi was fed up although it was just the beggining of their time together. They had just met after the whole year. Itachi really hoped they would have a new start leaving behind hurt and anger, but no, his brother can't even try to be nice! "You always need to be such a pain in the ass, and then you wonder why your live sucks."

Maybe that was too much. Sasuke lost his self-confidence, put his hands in the pocket and hunched a little bit. "Ok, ok, I just wanted to breathe some fresh air." he explained quietly, almost shyly.

Their way out turned out to be not so quick as Sasuke would like to. When they went down, somebody called.

"Uchiha-san!" both brothers turned, hearing Kakashi's voice. But the interlocutor was interested only in one of them." Good, I thought I'll never catch you" Sasuke's former sensei said cheerfully to Itachi.

"Hatake-san"

"I wanted to ask you... maybe you could help me like the last time. Maybe you could find some time to visit me, of course if you are not to busy with your stuff – he pointed his head at Sasuke.

"No problem, I'll come" – he moved his head in gesture of goodbye. "Come on" he said to Sasuke, who was looking at Kakashi with ironic smirk on his face. In contrary, former sensei completely ignored his existence.

When they reached the park, Sasuke started to show he's disgruntled.

"So what, you're dating Hatake now?" he mocked. Itachi noticed he referred to his sensei with the family name.

"Sasuke, we haven't seen each other so long. Please, I don't want to fight."

"Sorry, It's just... this man makes me so angry! Sorry."

"I'm also sorry. There's a lot of things we have to talk about. Kakashi, he is collecting mementos about Obito. He asked me for help once."

"Ok. I don't want to talk about this man." he cut the conversation and vented his frustration kicking a nearby stone down the road.

"Let's go home" Itachi tried to put an arm around him, but Sasuke avoided it and sped up.

"I hope you did cook dinner."

"Mhm..."


	3. New home

Itachi was living in the downtown, on the last of three floors in the tenement house. His flat consisted of one bedroom, huge living room of which one side was a kitchen corner, a balcony and a small bathroom. It was old and its condition left a lot to be desired, but the owner had made visible efforts to improve it like putting a new carpet and some decorations or utensils to turn it in a quite livable nest.

Showing the flat to Sasuke took only a few minutes. The bedroom, at the left from the living room, was big enough just to roll out two futons (now removed as it was daytime) and fit a small table covered with tons on books and papers and a laptop, serving apparently both as a nightstand and a working place. The wall at the left was covered with a ceiling-high white wardrobe. The shifting doors to the bedroom when left fully open made one big space with the living room.

In the living room at the corner near the window, there were two scratched armchairs and a sofa between them. One could see around some huge exotic plant for decoration, a book-case also full of stuff and a highboy. On the right, there was the kitchen made of cupboards set in the row at the wall and a low Japanese-style table at the center. Sasuke didn't see TV set or even a radio, which was typical for people who moved often. The whole flat spoke both about Itachi's minimalism and perfectionism.

"So, what do you think?" the proud owner sprawled on the nearest armchair, relaxed and easy as the troubles of the day were already behind them.

"Mhm" answered Sasuke, standing still, but Itachi knew this meant approval. "You mentioned earlier that you cooked dinner, didn't you"

"But don't get accustomed to it. I'm not going to be your cook"Itachi bantered , but obediently went to heat up yakisoba, happy that Sasuke is contented.

.

Visit at captain Yamato's office took no longer that 15 minutes. Itachi insisted to accompany his brother. The jounin resided in the official AMBU quatters just next to the Hokage tower. The real locations, like training fields, archives and comand center was confidential. Yamato recieved his visitors in a small room with only a desk and a few chairs that too well resembled interrogation room. From the very start he treated Sasuke cold, sometimes even contemptuously, but when you are criminal you can't expect more. Captain however didn't know how to deal with Itachi, the man surely deserved respect and yelling at this man's brother fell awkward. So he limited the visit to necessary minimum. He assigned for Sasuke a work in hospital, the obvious suggestion of Hokage, who had been always complaining about the lack of men power at her domain.

.

The first day of living together was plenty of awkward situations. Sasuke felt like a guest, so he didn't know how to spend his free time. He didn't talk a lot, and if he did – he rather asked Itachi and encouraged him to speak about himself. Itachi tried not to insist on getting to know everything. He saw that ototou was making a lot of effort to behave properly, to interract. He still occasionally fell into moments of silence and staring blankly in the floor, though. Itachi couldn't guess if it's Sasuke's moods or he's tired or couldn't find his place. Brothers came to the silent agreement that the younger Uchiha's past and his detention in Konoha are taboo topics. Instead they set the house rules and chores. Sasuke was not to pry on or question Itachi's social live only because he was on bad terms practically with the whole village. The older brother had decided that he would take Sasuke in, but would not resign from his way of living or ask for permission just for his brother's satisfaction.

Although they were siblings, they hardly knew each other. Actually they had just some vague memories of their childhood. Later on their entire lives were constant battles and extreme situations. Such normal things as sharing a room with a brother or living steady life seemed a little absurd now. But Itachi did not regret his decision despite the fact that Sasuke acted reserved now. After all, leaving his younger brother was never an option. He fully understood that being a family means to be one for good and bad. His brother – his attitude, his past – irritated him, but Itachi deeply loved Sasuke.

The older Uchiha, as promised, visited Kakashi tonight. He became good friend with Sasuke's former teacher, maybe because they both were the lonely geniuses of ninja-art and had experienced loss. Hatake sticked to Uchiha also because his failed relations with Obito (and probably also with Sasuke) and Itachi sticked to him because his distorted relations with his little brother. They were for each other like a poor substitute for their precious persons, like a keeper of memories, a proof these persons existed. When Itachi came back, Sasuke was surfing on the Internet. In the kitchen there was a pot with onion soup waiting for him.

"You see? I haven't burnt the flat. Yet." Sasuke said instead of 'hello'. Now he seemed relaxed.

"I appreciate." honestly, Itachi was surprised and glad that Sasuke showed some initiative to mend their relation. "Hey, I didn't tell you this properly, but I'm really happy to have you here and be able ..."

"Oh, come on. I don't want to hear this sentimental talk." _No talk?_ _Ok._ Instead of this Itachi came closer, sat beside Sasuke and hug him from behind. "I don't want this sentimental hugs either." younger Uchiha pushed him away with visible irritation and to break the awkwardness he asked the brother to bring the soup.

.

Itachi woke up in the night. The cold moonlight flooded their shared bedroom, carving shapes form the dark._ What time is it? Why he had woken up?_ He got up, went to the kitchen to drink some water then he went out to the balcony. Cold air freshened him up. There was almost full moon. The village visible in the dim light slept peacefully. Even now, after the whole year had passed since he returned, he had these moments when unwanted feelings budded in his heart – that he didn't belong here, that the town that lay before his eyes was not his village anymore. At moments like that he desperately needed somebody. He went back to bedroom hoping that his sleeping brother, just by his presence, would bring him some comfort. When he lay down and was about to fall asleep he got an idea what could have woken him up. He heard soft, muffled sobbing. His brother was having a nightmare. _Is it normal? Ototou must have suffered in the past. Should he wake him up?_ Itachi wondered but before he dared to shake Sasuke or to do anything, his brother tossed and the sobbing stopped.


	4. A look towards the past

Itachi woke up alone. The futon beside him was already rolled. Sasuke went out early today. Soon older Uchiha also rushed to the work.

Itachi was respected at his work. Both his boss and his subordinates liked him and treated him well. He was second Vice-Chief of Public Order Department. Although they did policing, it was not a typical police force. Such entity had never been recreated after the Uchiha massacre. One of their task was to investigate crimes and bring criminals to justice, but crime rate was never high in Konoha. More than that, they did whole range of task that served public order and citizen well-being. Sometimes it required organizing events, participating in missions, introducing solutions for social problems. Itachi was responsible for coordinating actions of each chief unit. He was happy with his work – he felt he was needed and that he found colleagues. The memories about the past laid locked deep within him. He still hadn't visited the graveyard or the remainings of Uchiha compound.

One year ago there was a lucky moment for making a comeback. After the war everybody just wanted to start anew, the old grudges and quarrels had been forgiven or at least forgotten. Although the Uchiha case didn't come up to the daylight, Hokage made a statement that Itachi was a hero and his work as a secret agent significantly helped them to win the war. The blame for the massacre was put on Obito and Madara, what was actually not far from truth. Participation of Konoha in killing its own citizens was to remain undisclosed.

Everything was fine up to the moment Sasuke woke up from coma and he demanded the truth in his crazy radical way. If not for that, who knows, he may have been even pardoned completely. Instead of this, he needed to be silenced. A quick show trial had been conducted during which Sasuke threw accusation all around at the highest Konoha authorities. It wasn't a big deal then to convince the jury that he is dangerous, hatred-blinded madman.

Itachi was furious at Sasuke. When they finally had a chance for peace – and not only in macro-scale of nations - but more importantly in their own lives- his brother was destroying everything. Through all these years of living hell Itachi had dreamt of nothing but this one thing: come back to this homeland, create a home, repair bond with family, which was at this moment epitomized by Sasuke. He was furious, but bowed down before Hokage as he implored for mercy for his little brother.

Sasuke was convicted for 3 years with possibility of parole, but Itachi was quite aware of the system. The punishment could be shortened or lengthen under any pretext. Apparently it proved to be really effective as Sasuke was released only after one year. The sentence was lenient, but probably not because somebody showed mercy, but rather because Sasuke was like a snake without its venom fangs. Maybe scary, maybe crazy, but powerless. When the young Uchiha had been brought to the village after the war, Root got their hands on him first. They curved seals on his cheeks and torso that blocked out his chakra. After this he fell into coma, but when he woke up he fell into a rage and they even needed to tied him up to prevent self-injury. Sasuke refused everything and everybody. At that moment Itachi realized that soft heart won't save his brother. He decided to stop pitying him. Whatever happened to his brother was only the consequences of his own choices. The only hope for Sasuke to understand his errors was "the hard way" – a proper punishment. Itachi was furious at him.

Uchiha brothers divided between them the ambivalent attitudes people always had toward their clan. Itachi, modest and kind, soon won their liking. He epitomized the best stereotypes of Uchihas –true warriors, talented geniuses that protect Konoha. Sasuke however became a symbol of sick ambition, rebel and destroying power. They changed places. What an irony, Itachi again was the golden boy as in their childhood, and Sasuke was disappearing in his shadow. With a bit of amusement Itachi observed as his ties with Team 7 had been growing stronger just as if he was a replacement of Sasuke, the better version of Uchiha. Especially at the begining Naturo showed great interest in him, hungry for Uchiha's attention. Itachi took him for a few trainings, sometimes they visited each other. He suspected Sakura had feelings for him, but he didn't see the girl in this way. He felt a little bit responsible for them; after all it's his own brother who made them suffer. Although all of them worried and missed Sasuke, younger Uchiha was never a topic of their conversation. Itachi had a feeling that for Team 7 Sasuke is a closed chapter. He also made particularly good friends with Hatake, but in the same time he was aware that former teacher is in this way recuperating from previous ties with Uchihas.

"Knock, knock" the sound raised Itachi's attentions. At the glass door of his room stood Nishida Mikami, the first Vice-Chief. He noticed that deep purple lipstick she was wearing matched the color of her shirt. Mikami liked extravagancy, but was not one of this idiot women blindly following any fashion. Itachi liked intelligent women. She was always a good distraction against dwelling on the past.

"Itachi-kun, are you going for a lunch with us?" The sole mentioning of food made him hungry.

"O, it's already two o'clock!" – he started to neaten the desk. Mikami went inside and propped against the drawer. Itachi noticed that the slit of her tight black skirt ended boldly high.

"Guess what Kikuta came up with" she complained about the boss. "At the weekend there's going to be another away-form-home seminar . I'm fed up with this. All the time work and work. When we will have time to live our lives!"

"The semianars aren't so bad. And you definitely can't called them work. Especially evenings, they are quite... unforgettable" soft smile entered Itachi's face.

"Yea, but I would rather not see our boss and half of the crew dead drunk. Actually I was thinking maybe we could go out with the small group for karaoke, but we have to put it off to the next weekend."

"Ha, my chances to learn how to sing before had just doubled."

Itachi hold the door for her and they went downstairs were other coworkers had been waiting for them. As usual they went to a small bar at the corner. Itachi was sure that at least a few of them he could call his friends.


	5. A good boy

Author's note: Thank a lot for the reviews. It feels great to recieve feedback and to know there are ppl who read it / like it. Naruto will show up but no sooner than after 3 chapters. I'm not sure about his role in the story yet, so no promises. But he is not main character in this story.

* * *

According to yesterday order, Sasuke checked in at 6 a.m. at the hospital. He picked up the access card and was told to head to the Tsunade's office. The old lady persisted that she has to personally look after the hospital, so each early morning she spent her time there.

Sasuke knocked at the door and as he didn't get any answer, he walked in. Hokage was sitting behind a desk covered with tons of papers. She was drinking her coffee and skimming through documents. He bowed obediently and tactically stared at the floor.

"Well, well, with a face like this you will scare my patients. You're not an early bird, are you?" Sasuke didn't know how to answer. Was it a joke? A reproach? On the second thought he shouldn't provoke her form the start."I'm sorry" he said.

"Hahaha, I like the new version of you! Take one of those aprons and you'll be tidying and organizing the archives" she pointed at the half-open door at the left. "Infections to green files, injuries to red ones... " she explained the details to him. "And don't disturb me!"

Sasuke bowed down again and went away to face his work. Could be worse. The task was not so easy. There were a dozen or so bookcases filled with dusty files. Boxes and documents that didn't fit in on the cases were thrown around on the floor. The air smelled like an old musty library. Sasuke sighed and start working.

The work gave him a headache and throbbing pain in the lower back. Dust was covering him from head to toe. Unfortunately he did interrupt Hokage a few times because he didn't know how to classify some cases. The most often answer was: "Just put it were there's some space". Now it wasn't surprising at all that archives were in such a mess.

Yamato had told him, that the convicted usually clean public parks and roads, wearing idiotic orange outfits to be seen clearly, or work in some institutions like hospitals, hospices, and cultural facilities. And that means working with people. When they make troubles, they are sent to mines or to wood cutting. Sasuke was in the end quite pleased with his current job, especially with the fact that it didn't require meeting people. He just didn't know if he would manage to behave properly. After a year in prison, where every situation was controlled, where he knew what was expected of him (mostly just to obey) and where he had learnt to be on his own, he fell unsecure with this new "freedom". Even the guards were at least some constant thing in his life – all the time the same faces and the same caprices of them. He didn't come to terms with what they did to him, but somehow he accepted the inevitability and routine of such life. Tidying up the archives was not so bad. He was not afraid of being alone.

"Uchiha!" a clear voice called behind his back. Tsunade's sudden appearance scared him that he dropped some files at the floor.

"Well, well, you're doing a nice job here." She looked around with content. Although Sasuke was in the middle of work, the room probably hadn't been cleaned for years so any change must looked good. "I'm going to the office. You'll be working in the laundry now."

Sasuke frowned. He knew how those big laundries looks like. They require working in teams – not the best idea for him now.

"Hokage-sama, could... could I finish tidying up archives instead? I would manage to do it today" he ask shyly.

She eyed him carefully. The boy was too intelligent and now too obedient to try anything stupid. However lack of supervision was a privilege, a proof of trust. It was still too soon for that.

"Get your ass downstairs."

Letting himself scowl only after walking out, Sasuke walked down to the basement where the laundry was. There, immediately he was assigned to a 3-man team. Coworkers didn't speak much, mostly they instructed him how to fold sheets, how to operate machines and so on. Fast pace of work and constant instructions didn't leave any time for small talks. Sasuke somehow felt secure. Tedious work griped him into control. There was again something that was telling him what to do, what to expect. During breaks his teammates showed him indifference –neither malice nor any tries of integrating as they knew he was here only for a while.

The work itself proved to be tiring. At the end of the day his legs and hands were shaking, partly because he hadn't eaten from morning. When the clock bell stroke 4 p.a., it was finally over. People were speeding homes, but not Sasuke. The boy spent an hour at the bench before the hospital, resting, then checked in at Yamato's. He was not in a hurry to come back home.

.

He was not in a hurry to come back home. Itachi liked his job and colleagues. He often worked over hours, because he didn't know what to do on his own when he was at home. But that has recently changed. His younger brother probably was already waiting for him. A shameful though crossed Itachi mind – that he didn't want to meet Sasuke yet. Maybe it was because always, when with Sasuke, he subconsciously expected confrontation. The things seemed good between them, but a sea of mutual harm and resentment was too much to dry out by itself. Sooner or later they would need to face it.

When Itachi came home Sasuke was cooking something.

"Tadaima" called older Uchiha. How pleasant it was to tell these words of greeting to somebody. "You are a perfect co-tenant, you know that?"

"Okaeri, nii-san. No, I just doubt in your cooking skills, that's all. How was your work?" _Good, ototuo plays normal today_ \- Itachi thought with relieve.

"Will you think I'm a freak if I say it was nice? – he took off his elegant well-polished shoes and put them in perfect line beside Sasuke's worn-out sneakers dumped in the corner.

"You don't risk your reputation, because I already know that you're freak. However I'm glad you have a job you like."

Itachi smiled and disappeared in the bathroom, just to emerge after a moment in the bathrobe and wet hairs.

"And how about you? Tsunade didn't kill you, apparently" Itachi continued casually as he dressed up in loose clothes in the bedroom.

"Apparently, but it was close. Come here, I'm pouring the soup."

They ate and talked about easy topics and how they spent the day. A little bit stiff, just like on the first date when you don't have common topics yet, but you have to behave. Apart from this well-understood awkwardness, the evening went smooth. Later they watched a movie drinking beer and then again talked and talked. About their likes and dislikes, music, girls, plans for nearest future. Nothing serious but good enough to make them remember how it is to have a brother. New bridges have been build over the sea of resentments.


	6. His face

During the next days they worked out a routine. Sasuke, quietly not to wake up his brother, went out to work at 6 o'clock. Itachi stared at 9. a.m. When he was back just before 6 p.a. the younger brother was already at home preparing dinner. Generally Sasuke insisted on doing most of the chords as he didn't pay "his part of the rent". The money was not a problem – Itachi, being in an executive position, earned enough to ensure very decent life even for a huge family, but Sasuke apparently was to proud to let anybody provide for him completely. Actually Itachi could easily rent a better flat, but really he didn't feel the need to show off his status and the place was quite comfy. During meals there was the obligatory question "How was your wokr?". Then, they went out for a walk as Sasuke almost didn't know the rebuilt Konoha. Itachi later met colleagues for a drink, and Sasuke did shopping, read books or surfed on the Internet. When the older man was back, otouto was already in the bed, but Itachi could tell by his breath he's not sleeping yet. Itachi's fear of losing his way of living proved to be false. After all his life was almost the same, but now it was no longer empty house that waited for him after work.

The weekend was coming...

.

Yamato watched his parolee with disapproval. It was his normal expression whenever he met with Sasuke. It was Friday afternoon, the end of the first week and a time for the first evaluation. Captain was sitting behind the desk, knocking with pencil on the table.

"So, how do you like being out of prison? But don't get accustomed to it, it can end very soon." Yamato mocked.

Sasuke, sitting in the middle of the room, had learnt during this few days, that it's better to ignore him. Their daily meeting always turned out in a game of who's gonna lose one's temper sooner.

"Answer when I ask you! Do you like it?"

"Yes" he said quietly, focusing his sight at captain's hands – easy trick not to provoke with eye-contact but to observe what the other is doing.

"Does brother sing you lullaby and change your diapers?"

"If you insist on offending me, sir, to bust up your low self-esteem, go ahead, I don't give a fuck about this. But Konoha owe Itachi so much that someone like you don't have any rights to say a word about him." Sasuke burst out. Well, sometimes tactic of ignoring everything is just impossible.

"You know what? Yamato raised a brow. Sasuke saw, but didn't manage to react, as Captain extendig a wooden hand. The boy just felt the grip in his hairs, sudden hit and found himself nailed to the deck with his face in some papers. Yamato leant and fizzed to his ear "you failed your evaluation."

"Let me go! Get off me!" Uchiha shouted. He felt panic crawling to his belly. This sensation was something he though he left behind the prison gate. The man could do anything as Sasuke was powerless. Again he was out of control. "Get off meeee!"

"Say you're sorry!"

"I'm sorry, just let me go, sorry, SORRY!" he yelped.

Captain threw him to the ground. With discontent he noticed blood stains on the papers. He let the shithead provoke him.

"Get back on the chair" he commanded, but when he turned to face him, nobody was there anymore. The boy legged it. Yamato ran to the corridor and looked around. He didn't have to search for long. Uchiha was just behind the nearest corner. He was sitting under the wall and breathing quickly. He used his sleeve to wipe out blood coming from his nose. Yamato's and Sasuke's eyes met.

"Tomorrow morning I see you at my office. Or at prison if you continue your behaviour." the man said angrily and turned away. Fighting some shitty punk was not worth his nerves.

.

Sasuke studied his face critically in the mirror. Fortunately there was no visible sign of today's incident with Captain. Because Itachi would pry and then would wanted to help, making Sasuke feel even more helpless. His pale skin contrasted with the blackness of the chakra seals and his hairs. Although he'd never been fat, his cheeks had always looked full. But not any more. Prison transformed his look more successfully than years of deadly trainings and constant battles. Cheek bones still gave his face characteristic feature, but now it was more angular. Under the eyes black bags started to appear. He didn't sleep well. He knew that sleep didn't come because he was too tired with this bad kind of tiredness. Sasuke was dealing everyday with a monotonous, addling job. He didn't actually work hard but still he couldn't rest. He missed real physical tiredness that comes after hard training and leaves only when you wake up in the morning after solid sleep. If he managed to drift away at night, he had nightmares. Fortunately Itachi hasn't notices it; there was no need to worry him more than necessary.

Sasuke hated his face, because it was so delicate, almost feminine. He hated that he had to wear his face like a mask – smile politely, conceal irritation. He hated that he was 'pretty' - that was what some used to say about him and use it as an excuse for their deeds. But first and foremost he hated the chakra seals that burned his soul on every thought about them. They were a symbol of the control over him, of the ownership. The seals on his body were destroying the very core of him even more, but he had learnt to ignore them. They remained always hidden under the clothes and when he washed he did it with mechanical fast movement to avoid seeing them. Sometimes in prison he thought that first thing he would do after getting out, would be to curve out the black patterns with a razor. Of course he wouldn't get his chakra back, but the scars would be his choice, his seal demonstrating the power over his own body.

He splashed water on his face and got out of the bathroom. Enough of these thoughts. He should do some home chords. He needed something to distract his mind. In the small flat there was not much to do. Yesterday he already vacuumed, made a laundry and now he ironed a bit. Today there was no cooking as Itachi planed to take him to ramen bar to "celebrate" Sasuke's first week of freedom. Maybe nii-san wanted to make up for him that he was leaving for weekend.


	7. Ramen for boys

If you consider going out for ramen – you'll surely end up in Ichiraku's. At Friday evening the place was graced by double popularity. The lights of traditional lanterns drew hungry consumers like moths to a flame. Human senses were bombarded with every kind of impulses – tasty smell of frying noodles, colorful curtains of the stall, banters and talks, pushes earned from others, and it all made the evening ramen intense experience. The brothers had to wait half an hour to get a place at the table. They managed to sit in the corner at the counter, where they were granted a little bit of privacy. Nobody would hear what they were taking through such noise, but that was not the case. Sasuke wanted to avoid running at some old acquaintances. And his fears were not exaggerated. At the other side of restaurant he spotted Ino-Shika-Cho trio, fortunately too focused on themselves to pay attention to others.

"It's almost like festival. Just we don't have yukatas on" joked Itachi.

"Mhm, right! Festivals always remind me of summer levity."

Itachi thought about it too. The images of the "good times" stood vivid in his mind. He recalled as their parents used to take them for the annual celebrations, and he and Shisui explored the attractions of each stall dragging behind little Sasuke. He always feared then that he would lose the little one and father would punish him. Something in his face expression must give out his thought, because Sasuke dared to pat softly at his shoulder in a buddy-like style.

"So... what is your recommendation" Sasuke didn't gave him more time to fall into nostalgia. "I haven't eaten ramen for a year, all the time long only rice with seaweed."

"I take classic one"

"So do I".

Soon they got their orders. The food was amazing and tasted exactly as Sasuke remembered. They ordered beers. Although Sasuke was still a minor, Itachi quite freely treated these matters. He suspected that his brother emptied bottles before, as it is normal on the difficult missions in a field. Beer was not even "real" alcohol and he was not going to be his nanny or put restrains.

Friday evening was truly crowdy. It seemed as almost everybody in the town decided to relax after the whole week at Ichiraku. So it was just a matter of time before some known faces would show up. Brothers were enjoying only a half an hour together and already one of Itachi's acquaintances came up to them. The man past his fifties, in an elegant brown suit, temporally with a shirt messily sticking out his trousers and tie loosen past any standards, greeted with Itachi like with a close friend. However Sasuke guessed form brother's now all stiffen form and pleasant words that this must be his boss - the person not so easy to send off. They were introduced to each other - Kikuta-san shook hands with him, said "oh I knew it, you are so similar" and lost all interest in Sasuke. The boss dragged Itachi into conversation about tomorrow seminar, embellished with a good portion of some absurd gossips. Sasuke noticed in disgust that the guy is quite drunk and need to hold on to Itachi to stay upright. But it is Itachi's business. Sasuke sipped his lonely beer feeling awkward left alone.

But not for long. He too apparently was under observation, because as the Itachi's obligatory talk got longer, the empty place beside younger Uchiha was soon taken by Iruka-sensei himself. He looked just like Sasuke remembered him, maybe except a few additional wrinkles visible when he smiled.

"Hello Sasuke" sensei said gently. The boy greeted him with a head shake. "You've changed. But it's good to see you again among us " he added after a while.

Sasuke felt a little bit shy about the meeting. Sesnei, although during old school days hadn't pay too much attention to him (because Sasuke didn't cause troubles), was very nice. Iruka always wanted to see good in people. After boy's parents died, he tried to help him but without pitying him. Now, from the perspective of years, Sasuke could finally appreciated how much heart was offered to him. Even though he didn't benefit much form it, because he quickly shut himself in anger and avoided contact.

"Well, I guess I did. For better or worse?" Sasuke tried to turn the question into a joke.

"I meant you were through a lot. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you." Sasuke fell silent. He hates such talks, but somehow he couldn't muster any anger toward the sensei. Iruka was always sincere, always showing real interest in people.

"How are you doing in the village?" former teacher continued queries. It was not one of these desultory question you could satisfy with 'fine, thanks'. Sensei asked with his heart.

"I'm functioning somehow" yes, Sasuke wouldn't call his existence here 'life'. "Sometimes it's worse, sometimes better, but Itachi is great support."

"Good to hear it. You know, if you want to talk or just want anything, pop in to me. Oh! and maybe you want to see the school again? Hahaha, I've heard you help in the hospital so one day I may arrange some work for you in my school if you want. You have no idea how horrible kids can be."

"Thanks." Then, after some moments of silence Sasuke decided to ask for something that was on his mind for the long time but didn't dare to query anybody. "And what is happening with Naruto? I've only heard he's in Suna" he hoped it sounded just like casual cuestion.

"Oh, yes, yes. Tsunade sent him off, officially for him to learn how to run a village and organize things, unofficially she was fed up with his pranks and complaining."

"Ah, and when does he come back?"

"Mhm, he should have been back a week ago but he prolonged his stay. He said he still has some matters to take care of. But you probably know everything better than me as you work in hospital with lady Tsunade."

"eee, we don't talk more than necessary." Sasuke's felt butterflies raise in his stomach. It was obvious that Uzumaki hadn't come back on purpose, he must have known, like everybody knew about Sasuke's release. Was it dissapointing or relieving? Young Uchiha couldn't decipher his emotions at all. All he knew is that is stressed him enormously.

"And with Sakura?" Sensei continued.

"Sakura? I haven't seen her since... since I moved in."

"Iruka-kun!" Itachi was finally free. "What are you conspiring about with my little brother?" his voice gave out that Itachi has already drunk quite a lot.

"Itachi! I'm glad to see you. And with such good mood!" he added sarcastically. "Watch him, he likes to 'have fun'" whispered to Sasuke.

When they were again alone, Itachi put an arm around Sasuke and ordered another drinks for them. Sasuke didn't like that such intense touching, but after a few tires to push Itachi's hand away, he gave up. Sasuke grabbed his beer mug and emptied it in one moment. He also wanted to "have fun" to ease his rising anger and thoughts about the past, that were at the point of emerging.

Iruka-sensei was right. Itachi, once started drinking, didn't think about limits. After Ichiraku they ended up in a nearby pub. Sasuke till now felt quite angry – at everything and without practical reason – so he welcomed another shots with satisfaction, When they finally arrived home after midnight, Itachi was not done. He took out a bottle and poured them. Sitting beside a table proved to be quite difficult. Sasuke was more or less fine, at least on his mind. That couldn't be said about the older Uchiha.

"Sasuuukeeee, I will looove'u alwaysss" Itachi gibbered and try to embrace his little brother. "Forgive me, you didn't deserve this" he whispered to his ears.

The boy was fed up with the whole situation. The bottle was emptied and it was high time to drag his older brother to the bedroom. He rolled out the futons, changed to sleeping clothes. Then he stripped Itachi off his shirt and trousers and pushed him under blanket. When he lied down, brother rolled near him and embraced him.

"Saasuuke" Itachi wept and his tears ran down on Sasuke neck. "I am so sorrry, I am so... so.. sorryyyy ototou..."

Sasuke didn't have strength to react. He was close to tears too, but rather angry ones. He also knew that brother's confession doesn't change anything between them.

Next morning they woke up hugging each other. Itachi as expected didn't remember much. Only headache gave him a hint how he spent the night. Soon he left the flat to join colleagues for the weekend-long seminar, bidding Sasuke to stay safe and take care of himself.


	8. He's back

Sasuke walked through sunlit park and breathed fresh air that carried the first frost of the year. As always during these 3 weeks from his release, he felt tired. The boy observed the passing people and they observed him. Everybody knew who he was. Even complete strangers could identify him by the seals on his cheeks. He stopped caring if their looks carried hostility or disdain. In these very moment he enjoyed a simple warm touch of the sun on his face. He realized that he spend a good part of his life among the nature doing mission in field. Was he happy then? Probably not, but still he dreamed to move to some desolate terrain, where he would be dependant only on his own abilities and his team, his friends – Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu. Was he free? That though was quite naive and made him laugh aloud.

Sasue was never free – from the very start of his existence he was burdened with obligations towards his clan. He was supposed to be a copy of his genius brother, a pride of Uchihas. Then, as the only survivor he needed to face a task of bringing peace for his deceased kinsmen and to take responsibility for Itachi. Uchihas believed, no, they knew that dead cannot rest until the wrongdoer pays his debt. Oh, what a convenient rule. Uchihas held their girp on Sasuke directing his life even after their deaths. Wasn't it too heavy burden for a child he was then? And Itachi? He excused himself that he didn't have a choice. The worst part was that elder Uchiha seemed to consider himself quite justified, as well as he considered the village. What a bullshit!. Itachi messed it up but it was Sasuke to carry the consequences. And now he pretend to be ideal older brother.

Well, maybe not so ideal. The first week, when Itachi paid a lot of attention to his _ototou_, was long gone. Despite of dozen of declarations that he's happy about Sasuke's "return", the younger Uchiha grew the feeling he was a burden. Itachi started to do over hours and going out almost every day. Their relation became more like of the cotenants leading their complete separate lives and not like of brothers.

The boy didn't want to admit it, but he felt as he lived in a cage. Hopeless work, long solitary hours and a distant brother were now the only elements in his monotone existence. Well, he was used to prison solitude so objectively his current life was still better. But freedom had much more bitter taste than he had imagined. The worst was the awareness of being helpless and depenand on good will of Itachi. So what right he had to complain?

In the act of desperation he actually did go one day to visit Iruka-sensei. Itachi at that time was probably gallivant about with Kakashi. Iruka was extremely nice and compassionate, but sharing his heart with others was never easy to Sauske. During the work in hospital Sasuke finally ran into Sakura. The girl treated him very formally. It was obvious she was not content of seeing him. Next meetings were cold as well and limited to absolute minimum, but civil.

Today he ended up with Tsunade in dissecting-room. Apparently Yamato tried his best to deliver the worst jobs to him. How he hated necropsy! Hokage had turned him in her personal butcher. Awful. Everything in this room had bad influence on him. They were on the basement level, which meant only the narrow windows under the ceiling let a little sunlight. Disinfection products and human bodies produced a mixture of smells that made him sick. Aprons, cold metal tables and omnipresent whiteness reminded him of 3 years spent in Orochimaru's dungeons.

"Oh come on, don't wince as you had never seen human viscera." Tsunade reproached him as he reluctantly opened another body. "By the way you're doing quite good." Hokage was direct and that what he liked about her. After 3 weeks of working under her supervision he learnt that he didn't need to keep all formalities with her.

"I've rather seen too much of them." he mumbled.

"Really?" she apparently waited for some explanation.

"As it is widely known, Orochimaru holds interest in medicine." he responded.

"Mhm.. and what he exactly worked on?" the Fifth inquired further.

"I don't know the details, but he was quite obsessed with genetics and pharmacology. The guy was crazy about them."

After a few moments of silence, the woman must have come to some conclusion, because she asked without beating about the bush.

"Did he experiment on you?"

Bingo! Sasuke felt that he's watched closely, but he didn't dare to cross eves with her, so he tried to continue casually working on a liver. He didn't realized however that the woman noticed as he froze for a little moment, as he gulped and as his heart sped up.

"I was supposed to be his next body, so these two things excluded one another. The liver seems to be healthy". How could geto even explain what was done to him? - assuming he would ever want to talk about it.

But Tsunade had already got her answer. She had never thought about it before, but now it seemed obvious. She restrained curiosity to ask for more, she wouldn't get any answered form him anyway. In the end she was not a bad person and she really felt some pity for the boy so she dropped the topic anc continued with their work.

.

Tsunade lounged on her armchair in her office. She smoked a cigarette and pulled sake form a hidden shelf. The last necropsy was particularly unpleasant. A young woman, Tsunade's patient, died of cancer and left two children. Hokage poured herself a cup and after a moment of hesitation took out a second one for Sasuke, who was sitting opposite her, filing up reports.

"Take it" she offered him a cup. "Tell me, when did you visit a doctor last time?"

He shrugged his shoulders. He knew where she was heading and didn't like it.

"Tomorrow after work I'd like to run some test on you. Because you possess a bloodline, you are prone to some diseases and generally you should take good care of you"

Tests? Bloodline? Oh no, the boy already suspected why so sudden interest in his body. He'd rather opt out. He was also fed up with such hipocracy. Now Hokage was so kind-hearted and interest in his physical well being but not more than a month ago he was on the verge of... of his limits and nobody gave a fuck about him. "If I need a doctor, I will arrange a visit myself." he answered angrily and pretended to be engrossed in report.

Lady Tsunade shifted in the armchair and fired another cigarette. "You don't look well. You know that. And don't forget you're on the parole so I expect some respect form you." she added casually, but in fact she was discontent with this lack of obedience. Once she wanted to do something for this little punk, he dared to refuse! But she cannot force him.

"Yes ma'am" Sasuke bowed but it was a little bit sarcastically.

Soon they manage to finish the reports and made arrangements about the next day, when suddenly they heard loud voices coming from the lower floor. One of them was particularly well known – as it definitely belonged to Naruto. They heard as he greeted with some people and laughed cheerfully.

"I think you should go now" Tsunade reacted. Sasuke was already taking off the apron, then he bowed and left. Out of precautions he turned to the back staircase. He didn't even manage to reach the stairs when he heard somewhere behind him opening of the door and Naruto's jovial voice "Baa-chan, I'm back. I knew you will be working till late so..."

Uff. Surprisingly, hearing Naruto's voice made him nervous. No, not really surprisingly. Sasuke though he had learnt to control his emotions but it was a lie. After leaving the hospital he decided he needed a break, so he headed to the lake, where he used to spend a lot of time as a kid – and also nowadays when he had a bad day. The lake was the only unchanged element of Konoha – all the building were rebuilt after Pein's attack, so only at the pier he felt just a little bit of his childhood land.

Younger Uchiha laid at the wooden pier and stared into evening sky. Cold autumn wind blew the clouds away uncovering some of the first shy stars. Their lights were cold and distant but not invasive, soft. Sasuke didn't want to chew over and over about Naruto, but he couldn't stop. A year in prison was a long time to think. Nobody, literally nobody ever visited him there. He wasn't sure whether the authorities would allow Itachi to do so, but certainly Naruto would be granted permission – if he ask. After all, everybody went along his caprices, because they knew he would do what he wants regardless of their consent.

Back then there was a faint, irrational hope in his heart that when Naruto or Itachi sees what they do to him – he would stand in his defense. He pushed these fantasies even further dreaming that maybe, maybe Naruto would choose him over the village, free him and they would flee. Naruto promised him friendships and help, didn't he? But Sasuke was not naive. He clung to the idea of being rescued either by Itachi or Naruto to endure the worst done to him. No, he should not mull over the past. The fact that two closest persons didn't see him worth enough to oppose the village, hurt.


	9. What one can't

It was still late afternoon, but it already got grey outside. Foggy day had turned into grim evening. Itachi warmed his hands around hot, steaming tea pot. Again he opted to stay out after work.

"Can you please stop?" Kakashi's voice brought him to reality. Uchiha had this conversation pattern everytime he visited the man, so instead of answering, he sighted deeply and rubbed his face.

"Well, that's ridiculous. You're running to my place to run from him, but you still can't put him out of your mind. Sasuke is a big boy, he can handle... " silver-haired man sat in the opposite armchair and watched Itachi closely.

"Kakashi, I don't want to talk about it..."

"Yes, I know, and that's your problem. You don't want to talk to him, you don't want to talk to me and you keep everything to yourself."

"That's all past now."

"Past? So why you're sitting in my kitchen every second day instead of being with your brother?"

"I just... I just thought I would give him more personal space."

"Bullshit. We all know why you avoid him. By the way I've heard some rumors that he also doesn't come home straight from work."

Uchiha shifted in the armchair. He didn't know this, and the fact that he was receiving news from others about the brother under his care stung his pride.

"But what is he doing then? Is he meeting someone?" that would be good news.

"Oh no, these flowery seals effectively drives people away from him. My old Anbu colleagues say Sasuke just wanders around.

"Are you still offended at him?" Itachi asked bluntly, tired of being the center of attention this evening.

"Well, offended? that's not the proper word... I guess I might be a little bit disappointed." as always Kakashi didn't show any deeper emotions in his voice. However Itachi during last year learnt how to see what's behind this easy-going "I don't care" attitude, and now managed to got some good glimpses of Hatake's true heart.

"Why don't you talk to him?"

"Oh no, give me a break. Sasuke is your problem and it's you who has a messed up relation with him. I just don't have any – and I wouldn't even know what to tell him if we met." he shrugged his shoulder.

"Frankly speaking neither do I know what to tell him anymore, how to treat him... I've tried, I've really tried to make everything perfect for his return." Itachi gulped "And at the beginning it worked, but now there's this tension between us, I can't stand it." He couldn't tell what he exactly felt about his lack of progress in relation with Sasuke. He wasn't a person who complains or pities himself. Probably he was a bit angry, he realized to his surprise. Hopefully he had Kakashi to get it off his chest, knowing that the man will not judge him.

"I shouldn't say it, but people make choices and because of these choices we can't do anything to help them." replied jounin "I observed your brother when he left the village, when he became corrupted by evil and, sorry, but I think it may just be too late for him. You should not feel guilty, it was his choice, he got many chances and hadn't use any. You've done all you could."

_It may be too late for him_. Itachi might had burst into rage on these words if not that he had heard them for more than a year all around him. First they appeared as an unvoiced fear, when he learnt of Sasuke's condition after the battle. They held a tight grip on his heart until they boiled his blood, when Council began their twisted play with his otouto. These words were repeated by his enemies to spite him, by gossiping civilians on the street, by his friends that wanted to comfort him and prepare him for what they believed inevitable, and what's worst - by his own treacherous heart.

"Kakashi, I can't..." he was lost for words, so he turned to stare through the window.

He felt overwhelming impotence. He cannot - but what exactly? To go on? To keep on bleeding his heart for Sasuke? To see him broken to a point he don't want to know what really had happened to him? Because the boy was now a shell of the person, even Itachi could see it, he who was blind by his ilusions of new happy life. Or is it the realization that he can't do anything meaningful? A firm grip on his shoulder made him feel vulnerable, but also the touch carried well needed strength and consolation.

"You are a good brother, Itachi, a good person, a good friend." a hand was rubbing Uchiha's neck. It made raven man feel somehow like a child but he didn't protest. He didn't comment the words either, although he knew they must be a lie spoken of necessity. Their relationship was now on this level, that they sometimes dared to took off their emotionless masks to give and receive comfort the way no one else could offer them

* * *

Naruto walked this path everyday. Sasuke knew it and that's why he walked this path too. But no, he was not stupid. He had to be sure Naruto is on a mission or at work to take the way – neither of them would be pleased with such a meeting.

The whole idea was ridiculous, but he decided that, come on, why not - he would just give it a try. Sasuke literally walked Naruto's steps. He couldn't get their relationship back so it was just a little something to remember how he used to feel when things were good between them, something to feel connection to old friend, old world. Sounds absurd? Sasuke was too intelligent not to realized how lame of him was this behavior, but he was past the point to care. He only paid attention not to be seen there too often, beside he needed to visit other important places that held special meaning. Like the park near his old flat, like the forest where he first met his former master, like the boulevard where he sprang his ankle and nii-san carried him home. Some of them drew him into bittersweet embrace, the others confirmed he was doomed from the very beginning. Despite of the village being rebulit he managed to localize the places.

Teenager world was unbelievably limited now– dull work, supervisors that treat him like an object, and Itachi. He could not express his true thoughts – that either would cause him troubles or worry nii-san. He couldn't train but that's what he used to do his whole life. He couldn't find his place it this village (there was no place for him as long as he wanted to stay a human person and not some kind of obedient machine). He couldn't tell Itachi why he is what he is, because the proper words didn't want to come to his mind. So he hid all of these inside him. Besides, what would it change?


	10. Odd

Sasuke was sitting in Tsunade office waiting for today's instructions. He felt a little bit lightheaded, "unreal" as he described this condition. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped breakfast in the morning, but he was so angry again without any particular reason, and again couldn't gulp down any food. He averted his eyes from glary lights of the dawn that were like a daggers piercing his brain. He had drunk just a coffee and he felt now his limbs are almost at a point of shivering. It was strange to experience at the same time body weakness and strength but he liked this sensation.

"... are you listening?" – Hokage reproached him and gave him questioning look. There was something off with the boy, but to be honest, there was always something off with Sasuke.

"I'm sorry... I just didn't hear your last words, ma'am."

"I said you work under Sakura's command today. And try to be nice to her. If I hear any complains from her, you'll regret it." seeing startled look at boy's face, she soften her tone. "I mean don't behave like a prick, act like a normal person and try to have some small talks with her like you were colleagues. Remember it's your punishment working here, not hers."

The boy sighted, nodded his head and looked down. Conversations with him were rather monologues. It was complete contrast to talks with Naruto.

"Well, I'm not saying you behave badly; to be honest I'm quite content with your work. I just ask you to be more social".

Sasuke couldn't believe his ears. He had just been praised. Shivering of his right leg got out of control, but Tsunade couldn't see it from her desk. Was she manipulating him or she truly meant it? Probably it was just another meaningless talk of her to which he attached too much importance.

There was knocking at the door and Sakura entered the room. She was already clad in white apron, hairs in ponytail, and holding some files. She gave Sasuke a fleeting look during which he politely nod his head, and stood beside him before the desk.

"Lady Tsunade" she greeted her superior

"Sakura, you're just in time" said Hokage with a smile. "As I told you yesterday, I arranged some help for you"

"I've already said I don't need help, especially from unprofessionals, but if you insist." she sighted with resignation and sit beside Sasuke. She gave him another look – cold and uninterested as she was judging his practical value. She caught eye contact with the boy, because he's been furtively observing her.

"I'm looking forward to working with you" he said a polite phrase to escape the situation. Sakura nodded her head in response. Tsunade smirked with satisfaction.

"Sakura, let's drink some coffee before we start, shall we?" proposed Hokage "I should have cookies somewhere" she started to look through her drawers "Uchiha, go to the kitchen and brew coffee for us, will you?"

He came back with a tray and found the women chatting. The mood in the room apparently lighten up when he was gone. He passed the cups and sat on his previous spot, not sure he should participate in this conversation. As he assumed he will not be spoken to, he stared through the right window observing changing colors of the dawning sky.

"Sasuke... and where's your cup? You don't drink with us? asked Tsunade.

Uchiha was forced to focus on reality.

"Oh, sorry. I... I've already had my coffee..." he murmured. It turned out this was an invitation and not a command to serve them. He didn't get it and now felt somehow embarrassed. He didn't want to be noticed more than necessary.

"A cookie?"

"Mhm, thanks" he unwillingly took it as he couldn't refuse. He slowly chewed it piece by piece. That was odd and he didn't like it. Hokage calling him by his given name and treating him as one of her co-workers? He just didn't understand it. He was accustomed to hostility or indifference and that was clear situation. Somebody being nice to him was horrible – he realized. It made him feel being in debt, no matter how insignificant the kindness would be. And fraternizing with anybody in the village was useless. He was not part of the village and there was no future waiting for him. He did want nothing from the village – not forgiveness, not recognition, not friendships - didn't he? The cookie he ate felt like a stone in his stomach.

"So, Sasuke-kun, how do you do? I've heard you live with Itachi-san now." Sakura apparently tried to be polite. Just what the hell happened when he was in the kitchen? He felt "unreal" and his thoughts didn't proceed straight. Maybe he misinterpreted things.

"Mhm, I do" catching Tsunade's look he added "Thanks'

"I sometimes see Itachi-san and ... "he stopped tracking Sakura's polite talk. He didn't want to be mean, it just he felt this inside shivering... and the sky turned light blue... and his iris opened on the bright light giving him bit dizzily but amazing feeling of space...

"So, Sasuke, do you like your work here?" he just barely caught another question.

"_No I don't_" – no, he said it only in his imagination. In reality his throat produced just "mhm" what the girl must have taken as "yes".

Today they worked at geriatrics. Sakura checked up at her patients and Sasuke - as wordlessly as he could - worked as an errand boy delivering files, medicines, fulfilling small requests like moving a bed closer to window etc. Sakura ordered him to provide some easy medical assistance like doing simple check-ups, injections, changing bandages. He let Sakura give him detailed instructions although thanks to his master he was no novice in these activities.

Sasuke couldn't stand this work. The elderly people seemed not to know who he was. They were nice and thanked effusively for any minor favor offered to them as it was a great deal and not his obligations. They shared stories of their lives, most of them including motive of a family member not visiting them or having being cheated. He was fed up with "sonny" and "you have a good heart". Because he definitely hadn't got a good heart and it was such a ridiculous lie. Almost every granny commented on his facial "tattoo" – some complaining about youth extreme fashion trends and ruining his pretty face – like he had any saying in this; some remembering their grandchild also having tattoos. But he had to keep a mask and smile, because what can you do else seeing their naive attitude and irrational faith even in the worst people like him?

Sakura talked and talked, listened to their stories, so Sasuke fortunately could just silently disappear behind the stream of her words. Breathing hospital air, he was away, reliving in his mind scenes from the time after his capture, when he lay forgotten in hospital. He barely existed then. He was glad he also skipped lunch today so the "unreal" feeling grew even stronger. The worst was after all Sakura. At the end she actually thanked him for behaving properly –like he was some wild animal. Maybe she was right, maybe he is not exactly the same human as them...

When he later met with Yamato he received usual hostile words. What exactly – he could not remember. On some level he knew captain mocked him and offended, but he stop listening long ago. After unexpected, odd kindness he experienced, the things were back to how they were supposed to be, with what he learnt to deal. His lack of desired reaction often earned him punches, but then he laughed because it was so hilarious and Yamato stunned at his behavior would end the meeting. He was not afraid anymore. He soon would be free. After all he didn't belong to this world.

Sasuke decided to indulge himself and spent the evening at a boulevard leading to ninja academy – where he used to wait with his mother to pick up Itachi after school. Mother was a sacred memory. Only about her love he was almost sure, although he was also angry at her docility toward Father. But the memory was soon interrupted. Something was done to his body, something he couldn't talked about or admit even before himself. And he was stained, and he was evil and filthy, and he could no longer be his mother's good boy.

Cold air tingled at his skin. Evening dark covered the grayness. Weakened Sasuke drifted away in sleep, reliving the past. The day proved full of surprises however. Some time later, a blond-haired pedestrian was walking by, apparently coming back from Iruka – the only sensei known to stay to the late night at the school. He suddenly stopped as he spotted disgraced Uchiha on the bench. As he confirmed the boy is sleeping, the blond dared to come closer and spent a good while observing him. He drew his hand toward Sasuke's face and traced flowery patterns on his cheeks, but without touching him. Then one could see as the blond ninja straightens, his irises turning into vertical slits, breathing heavily and clenching his fists. Quick scrunch of the road stones and pedestrian disappeared just in a moment Sasuke woke up.

Confused young Uchiha looked around for the sound that woke him up. But before he could think clearly Itachi came running, and in the same moment he was lifting him up and scolding him for making him worry.

* * *

First and foremost - thank you for your reviews! Your feedback is really important for me. I'm sorry for not updating more often, I hope it would change during vacations.


	11. Said too much

"You're lucky Anbu didn't get to you first!" Itachi shouted. He walked another circle in the living room and shook his head in disbelief and disparagement. "I have worried about you!"

"Don't exaggerate. I'm not five, if you haven't notice yet." Sasuke first though he would sit 15 minutes pulling the obedient face and let Itachi talk his anger out – as he did with Yamato and others, but the reproach extended any rational time limits now. As he sat on the sofa and Itachi was constantly moving, he was saved form having to keep the eye contact with the brother.

"And what exactly – have – you – been doing!" older Uchiha paused after each word and when he finished he slammed a fist in the nearby armchair.

"So am I to sit all day in the flat waiting for you like a dog for his master? Or what?" Sasuke raised his voice.

"What is happening with you? Sasuke, please..." apparently Itachi came to the conclusion the previous method didn't work.

"Just give me a break already! I spent some time walking and why is it so big deal?!"

"Sasuke" Itachi sat in the armchair opposite his brother and hit the pleading tone. "I know it's hard for you here, I can see something is troubling you, you've been so away lately, I know you've been wandering around. Please tell me, maybe we could figure it out together."

"Hm" irritation flowed him over. What a cheap trick. And that was supposed to make him open up? "Well, there is one problem, and its name is Konoha. So unless you're willing to "figure ths out", don't waste your breathe." having said this, Sasuke stood up intending to go to sleep to put an end to this useless conversation. But Itachi, standing up as well, grabbed his wrist and held him.

"This is unfair, Sasuke. Konoha is a problem, because you turned it into a problem." he said with a stern look.

"At least you admit it's a problem, that's a success. Now let me go" he whispered coldly. Brothers eyed each other with anger.

"Just why the fuck you and Naruto brought me back to this village?" he burst. "I cannot stop wondering. To hell with Naruto, but you? You, who claim you want to be my brother, that you want the best for me, but agreed to all the Council decided for me?!"

"Sasuke, you are unfair, I know how you must feel, but we are both aware it's your doing that brought you to this predicament. But still, we can overcome it."

"You know something about me? Great, so you know damn well what they – he lost his breath – what they did to me" he finished weakly, but nerves kept him in fighting mood. "Or that these seals around my body are burning everyday to the core of my soul." he added quietly. "Or I am treated like a trash by my supervisor and anybody else. Or my bother tells me it's not important to get justice for my family. Justice! Do you even understand this word?"

Maybe he said too much this time. He didn't want to confront Itachi, who was stunned at the sudden confession. He would rather keep his heart shut and maybe he would disappear one day, but all these feelings of betrayal he had in prison, came back in ager. "Which of these are you so wiling to help me overcome?" he added bitterly.

"Sasuke! I've been trying to help you, don't treat me as your enemy!" the older man apparently overcame shock and didn't let Sauske's complains change his resolve." We had this conversation hundreds times back then, why you're bringing this up now? I know you're angry and you have difficulties in your job, but you can't blow off steam on me."

"So all I am for you is some capricious stupid child?" his cold, seemingly collected tone, contrasted with Itachi's emotional outbursts. "You're right, we had this conversation multiple times, but neither time anything seemed to reach your self-righteous head. I haven't been wrong, Itachi, I haven't.

Younger Uchiha pulled out his hand from his brother's grip and hid in the bedroom. Itachi didn't follow. Sasuke heard his heavy steps, apparently he circled again, and then there was a sound of zipping a jacket and a slam of the door.

_Kuso_. Itachi was so stupid and blind to anything wrong in the village. Whatever he said, he could not reach his nii-san. Fucking Mr. Perfect. But Sasuke felt horrible. He didn't want to start a fight. After all, he was like a parasite living on Itachi's kind heart, and now he drew the man out of his own home. Great. The seals didn't let him fall asleep. They burned as if responding to his negative feeling. So he scratched them, scratched his arms, his tights, his neck. He scrubbed his abdomen, and bit his forearms to force himself to stop. When he realized he might stain the bed sheets, he moved to the bathroom. Sitting in the shower cab, he tried to stop, but it burned as if the flowers turned into flames that maniacally licked his useless raddled body. Streams of icy water flowing over him transformed into ruby trickles.

.

Itachi needed to get out. He loved his otouto, but in this very moment he hated him. He barely stop himself from slapping Sasuke's beautiful cocksure face. No, he hated that Sasuke was so pig-headed. Nothing he said this evening had reached his head. After being proved wrong so many times, after a year that should learn him a lesson, he still clung to his vengeance or whatever his ideas were now.

He needed a drink and he let his foot take him in a well-know direction. The sound of his rhythmical, quick steps accompanied the tracks of his thoughts. Itachi was mostly disappointed and tired. It seemed Sasuke already gave up rebellious attitude and that the care he embraced his ototou with is paying off. Maybe Sasuke wasn't integrating back to the village – yet – but Lady Tsunade was pleased with him and gave Itachi hope. What a lie.

So Sasuke didn't forgave him after all, did he? Yes, he DID kill Mother, and he DID kill Father, and ALL from their clan. And he must live bearing his guilt, because he managed to save his most precious person, that is a fair payment. And that person doesn't need to love him back, it's enough Sasuke is able to lead happy normal life and find his place in Konoha again. Can't he understand this?! There's no point in destroying everything for the sake of past.

The tavern in the downtown was crowded and unfortunately Itachi spotted a few co-workers there. He was not in a mood for friendly meeting, definitely, and the hot, sultry atmosphere was not exactly what he needed now. So he ended up sitting at the lake bank, sipping his lonely sake bought in the nearest store. It was chilly but anger and liquor kept his blood boiling. _Kuso_, he tried his best but didn't succeed in anything. He threw the empty bottle into the water. Dark circle resonated on the surface. Itachi was practically in a top 10 of the most influential people in Konoha because of his job. He was supposed to be a man, a genious who does impossible, but couldn't deal with his home situation.

His legs again dragged him, almost against his will and definitely against reason, into well know direction. The same force made his hand pound like a churl on a door of the only person he was not ashamed to show his weakness.

"For goodness sake! Itachi! what the hell?" but seeing the man drunk and staggering Kakashi didn't ask more and took him inside his apartment.

"Kakash.."

"I assume you have a sound reason to be here" stated Hatake. He was already clad in his funny pajamas in shuriken-pattern and his mask was off. He critically eyed the visitor as Itachi awkwardly took of his jacket and shoes.

"Oh, are you going to stay, great! So, will I get any explanation tonight or are you completely wasted?!"

'There is a reason" The corridor was so narrow that it took Itachi just a moment to reached his host, pushing him on the wall. "You are the reason" he desperately whispered to his ear, but it all sounded more like a cheap comedy than passion.

"You're drunk. And you smell of cigarettes" irritated, jounin pushed him away. "If that's all, then you can leave. If you're not able to do so, then you can sleep on the sofa tonight and we'll talk when you're sober." He intended to escape to living room, but Itachi didn't let him, blocking a way with his arm.

"Kakash... I am... maybe I am ... I am falling" his words didn't make much sense now exept that he was desperate. His coal black eyes were hungry of something that could fill the hole in his soul. He hole he stacked with stupid little things, but this provisory tame rumbled dangerously tonight. He crept to the man again, drew a hand into his moon-silver hairs and lay a bite on his lower lip. He didn't get any response this time so he breathed Kakahi's smell, a smell of a wild wolf bathed in the moon, letting the presence of somebody else ease him. Uchiha's body shook with a spasm. Then another and another as he clung tightly to the man like he was at the verge of falling for real. After the moment of awkward silence, a delicate touch pulled his hair out of his face, wiped his wet cheek, caressed his head and shoulders.

"So you sleep on the sofa tonight and we will talk in the morning. And you definitely shouldn't drink so much, Itachi"

* * *

Thanks a lot for the reviews, all! JuliaT-chan, I'm glad that you see the progress, because the lack of it was my main concern.


	12. his bosses, his arabesques

Itachi couldn't focus on work today, so he deliberately constructed a wall of files around him that signalized he was busy and there was no point in talking to him now. He never before succumbed to such low tricks in the office. To be honest, he never before was on such terrible hangover at work. Yes, he drunk often, (maybe too often recently), but took his professional responsibilities very seriously and let his hairs down only at weekends. He understood the value of his work well and he was pleased of what he had achieved to this moment. He also wanted to be someone who Sasuke could be proud of, and in the same time make the village more peaceful, safer. That was his ideal deal – kill two birds with one stone.

But not today. Now he only thought of surviving there eight hours. Of course coworkers have noticed. Subordinates whispered, but he was too tired to care. Nishida Mikami gave him taunting look as a goodmornig, but brought him aspirin and left him be. He made a mental note to treat her a lunch next time. The boss however blinked an eye at him understandingly and patted his shoulder when they bumped at each other at the corridor.

His poor physical condition was a mirror for his state of mind. He couldn't stop feeling nervous about his otouto. He slept at Kakashi's so he hadn't seen Sasuke since the quarrel. He was not angry at him, actually it was the guilt that has been holding him in its grip more tighter than usual. Should he call him to check on him? And what he supposed to tell him? Whatever, the teenage is at work now so he can't contact him now.

He was supposed to help his otouto get a fresh start. It was obvious now that Sasuke haven't found his place in village and still was just as hurt as a year ago. Time heals all wounds? Whoever came up with this saying was definitely wrong.

Itachi tried to shift his thoughts to something lighter but ended up conjuring up Kakashi's face – his another "issue". He had ambiguous feeling toward the jounin. That was the only person with whom he ever dared to speak his heart, to bother him with his problems. He trusted him with his life (and with Sasuke's life too in fact). From one side he was irritated that the man acted now so "responsible" keeping him at distance and implying he knew better what Itachi needed. When it was Kakashi who needed consolation after the whole Obito case, he had no shame in taking whatever he wanted form Uchiha. From the other hand, Itachi knew at heart Kakashi was right scolding him instead of letting him self-pity himself. In spite of his reluctance toward Sasuke, jounin promised to get some information about boy's performance and provide any help he could.

The time seemed to drag terribly slowly today. Nishida was helping him to avoid petitioners and the boss, but the office was like a hive because of a big project of anti-narcotic campaign they were running at the moment. At lunchtime, not accepting any excuses, she took him to a coffee shop in a back alley. It was not the usual place, but despite of it, pleasant and quiet.

"Why are we here? Couldn't we join the rest, Mikami-san? You know, people will be talking" joked Itachi when they sat at the corner that gave them maximum privacy, even though at this hour there was hardy any customer. Green velvets of the furniture was a high contrast to Nishida yellow outfit. Despite of vivid colors - impeccable outfit, Itachi though, shamefully realizing he must look well below standards in crumpled shirt, unpolished shoes and greasy hair.

"They are already talking. And not about us, but about you." the woman said with energetic tone, busy looking through her crimson bag. She put out a packet of cigarettes, took one and offered them to Itachi.

"Not here" he said.

"Huh?" she saw no-smoke sign and put the cigarettes away. The waiter brought their orders

"Take a day off or maybe the whole week, Itachi-kun." she said straightforward.

"I don't understand... "His thin white fingers grabbed the table edge. _Kuso_, he already was failing at home, was he also to lose his face at work? It was all he had, all in what he could proved himself useful and gain respect.

"Maybe you can live just on work, but no normal person can." Nishida shrugged her shoulders. "You haven't been on vacations, practically from a time you started working with us and now you definitely need it"

"No, I can't. We have so much work with the whole campaign, I will not leave you with all this mess" he said seriously.

"Oh, that's cute, Itachi –kun, but you're not much of a help today" her bright red lips smirked.

"I'm sorry" he looked in his cup, realizing his cheeks are burning, a sensation he haven't felt for years. _Shit shit shit. _Why is it happening to him?

"Come on, don't make a face of a bitten putty. And don't think I'm criticizing you, you know well that I'm far from an ideal worker myself."

Man's lips formed a weak smile. Oh yes, Mikami's got her own little "sins" about which all the company knew, but still she was respected and liked. That made him feel a little bit better.

"You are a tough nut to crack. We work together for a year and I barely know about you. I mean you never speak about yourself, you never complain... ok, I will not beat about the bush but I am, we all, are worried about you."

"Are you suggesting I am ... that I behave improper? he asked with a heavy gulp in his throat.

"Oh, come on. I'm not talking to you as your superior, but as your friend! Really, sometimes you're just overresponsible, just too perfect. You always give consideration to other's people feelings and needs. When will you start to consider your needs too?" She always spoke her mind, so it didn't shocked Itachi, nonetheless is was embarrassing to hear somebody judge you. And that was unusual situation for him. If so, he was the one to hear his friends and colleagues out and give them advises. The woman surely had good intentions, but he was not in a mood to open up, and definitely he was not going to mix his private life with professional one.

"I've been quite busy and tired lately so I wnet out to chill out a little bit yesterday. It turned out in the morning it was not the best idea though." he smirked and the woman laughed "I guess we'd better get back".

.

Kikuta sat in the heavy clouds from his cigar with his legs on the desk. Itachi frowned at this, but then soon remembered he was definitely not in place to look down on irresponsible behaviors at workplace today. He was called by the boss at the afternoon when he was almost leaving.

"Have you got fun last night?" joked the superior , but with a friendly smile all over his broad face.

"Boss, I am really sorry. It won't happen again, I promised" Uchiha bowed respectfully.

"It won't? What a shame, I hoped I just found a drinking mate, please, have a seat" – he changed to a more proper position pointing at the armchair by the desk.

So it was not about it, Itachi took the place, relieved. He couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"So how are you going, Itachi-kun?"

"Well, fine I guess, thank you sir"

"Mhm, I know you have more pleasant ways of spending your time since your little bro is back, but I need you to pay a visit in Kuroshima town"

"Hoo? When?"

"Actually, it's for the whole next week, "he continued without waiting for answers" look I'm sorry. I need you to replace me, we have 20th wedding anniversary with Ume, I can't miss it if I want us to survive another 20 years together."

"Sure, boss" the sudden request surprised Itachi, but he was so glad the meeting was about business and not about his personal issues like with Nishida. He had a feeling that he need to make up for his failure, so he instantly agreed. "I'll be happy to help" he added without a second thought.

"Great. I knew I could count on you, Itachi" Kikuta walked to Itachi and shook his hand. "Normally I would send someone else, but they want to speak with higher ups. And I can trust you can handle this."

.

He managed to come home earlier. Sasuke was still out. Good. He planned to cook something special for them as it was the easiest way to say sorry. Yes, he came to the conclusion yesterday fight was his fault. It's not like his views were wrong. It just he shouldn't have raised his voice. He should be more considerate. Had he provided more support for Sasuke, young Uchiha would feel better in the village. Although he had no idea what exactly he should have done better, taking care about otouto was his responsibility, and he accepted the blame.

His tiredness went away when he washed and changed in fresh clothes. As he had free time, having set the oven, he decided to tidy up a bit. He hadn't done much of a house chords lately, while it was mostly Sasuke's charge. He haven't pay much attention to such details, but now, dusting and cleaning things it struck him how few objects gave away there's somebody else living here. A second futon hidden in the closet, unoccupied pair of slippers in the corridor, basic bathroom utensils, a few of Itachi's clothes given to the teenage before he would buy his own (but Sasuke said he didn't need more so it stayed this way) – was all that the young Uchiha owned.

Although a stranger would have difficulties telling there's two persons living there, Itachi's habit of keeping everything perfect made him sight whenever he saw Sasuke's few belongings. A scarf carelessly sticking out from the coat's sleeve to the floor instead of hanging it in place like Itachi did. He could possibly not teach his brother that the left cupboard is for dessert plates and cups and the right one is for mugs and bowls. The jumper the teen wore at home was bumped crumpled under the chair in the bedroom.

Itachi grabbed it, intended to fold it up properly when a navy-covered notebook dropped out from its pocket. The man picked it up and sat at the chair. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. He instantly knew it's something private as he'd never seen it before. He swept a cover with his hand, moved a finger up the spine, studied its worn corners as if the sole touch could tell the secrets hidden inside.

The nerves swallowed his breath to whizzes. It's probably nothing important, but still he should not open it. Maybe he's overreacting while the notebook is Sasuke's only personal item in the whole flat. His brother didn't seem to be the sentimental type that writes diaries. Proud that he overcome the temptation he reached to put the notebook on the table. But his excited hands incidentally dropped the item. It fell spine up, opening itself, as it wanted to be read. Some sheets folded. Shit. Sasuke will notice. The man picked it up again, straightening the folds, and the wave of disappointment took over him. As he went through the pages, he saw just some pictures, most of them abstract arabesques. There were some single kanjis and words as well that didn't make any sense. _What he expected?_, Itachi scolded himself. He put the notebook away, hiding it as it was – under the jumper. What a fool of him.

Today's special dish – salmon baked in herbs was almost ready telling by the smell. The man switched off the oven and laid the table.

There was a key scraping at the door and Sasuke's head popped out from the corner.

"Tadaima. You're earlier". he said dully. He disappeared in the bathroom, then he headed to the bedroom where he drew out his futon, without paying much attention to his brother.

"Sasuke, are you ok?" Itachi walked to the room and watched as he made his bed.

"Yeah, I'm just tired"

"I am sorry, you know, about yesterday. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

"Don't want to talk about it. I'm too tired. And at least I know what you really think." he said without looking at him. "That was educational in a way."

"Sasuke. I know you must be angry at me"

"No, please stop." he finally faced him. He really looked exhausted, his movement slows. "Stop pretending you understa.. no just stop, I don't want to fight with you. I need to rest now."

"Ok, I don't want to have a fight with you either. Look, I made a dinner for us, come on" the man said softly.

Sasuke sighted. "I won't back what I said, but ... truce?"

"Truce"

They ate mostly in silence, but the mood lighten up. When they finished. Sasuke said all of a sudden "Maybe I didn't express it correctly, but I really appreciate in the end you didn't turn your back on me." That was the most sincere 'thank you' Itachi heard from the beginning. And the most heartbraking because it revealed that otouto really considered an option that Itachi would left him. The teen soon escaped to the bedroom and the man stayed for the washing up.

When Itachi got ready to sleep, content of the evening, he gave sleeping Sasuke fleeting glance. His shirt opened up revealing a peace of the boy's torso. And something just clicked in Itachi's mind. The realization was like a wave of nausea that almost swept him off his feet. These strange arabesques, repeated endlessly in teen's notebook, were not some senseless scribbles, but the patterns on his body. Now he understood what Sasuke's meant saying the seals burn to the core, understood how they occupied his otouto's mind. He leant on the wall and heaved. When he regained control over his body he ran on the balcony. Quivering he tried to fire a cigarette but soon it was broken and crumbled, so he angrily throw it away and tried another.

He vaguely remembered the words form the notebook, because he paid no attention to them. Some really unpleasant one like: suffocating, ignite, cage. An attempt to describe what is indescribable. He never fully realized sealing can bring so much damage. Well, he'd never given it a second thought. How can he knew when Sasuke was keeping everything to himself, when they couldn't hold a real talk? He was simply horrified. Such evil, such horrid and intimate thing. Just why?He took everything bravely. But he couldn't help that the silent tears didn't want to stop running down his face. He was helpless, he was weak. How could he failed Sasuke's so much when he hadn't been wrong?

* * *

AN: thank you for the support. This time kind of double chapt.


	13. Leaving

After a looong break, I'm back with 2 chapters. I don't intend to make traumatic event-mending up story, because I guess the relations would be purely guilt ridden and it's not solving problems in a long run (although guilt is present now). Sasuke already suffered a lot, I want him to get stronger, to come into terms with himself and a few people close to him. Not sure when the future updates will be.

* * *

"So you're leaving today? For the whole week?" Sasuke repeated what he just heard.

Kikuta just gave Itachi a call, informing him that he need to go 2 days earlier than planned.

Well-known blankness crawled its way to Sasukess mind. He couldn't fully process the information, and how his body decided to react puzzled him to no end. A stupid pang of heart, dizzy head and confusing feeling of both relief and disappointment. He moved a plate away with the rest of the breakfast Itachi made him today. The older man woke up earlier so they could have a meal together and talk. Sasuke didn't know whether he should be content he will be alone, finally resting from the omnipresent Itachi's supervision or these nerves was actually a fear of losing the only attachment to the real world.

"Sasuke. If you want me to stay, I will, it's not a problem" he put a hand on ototou sholder in a reassuring way, but he noticed an immediate flinch so he withdrew it. He started to notice a whole new bunch of signals from his little brother now.

"It's ok, it's not like I need a babysitter, and you have been away previously" they younger one stated emotionessly.

"But you know it's not a problem at all, I know you will handle it, but - "

Sasuke was quiet and he couldn't read his emotions. The timing was ugly, and Itachi already felt guilty abandoning his brother now, hastily agreeing to the boss's request , but from the other hand he didn't want to treat him like a child. Everything's been decided for Sasuke since he came back to the village, so this little independent time might actually be a nice change for him. "Will you see me off at the station today's afternoon?"

"Yeah, sure" the younger Uchiha smiled softly, his eyes finally losing blank expression.

Itachi couldn't help but threw his arms over a table to grip him into an unexpected hug. The boy stiffened like always, but let Itachi hold him for a moment, let him caress his long hair, before he wriggled out.

"Itachi, is something wrong?" oh, his brother was not stupid. Elder man sighted. Everything was wrong, but still, it was as wrong as usual, it just he knew a little more how wrong it was. He didn't want Sasuke to notice his worry though.

"Just nervous about the trip. I don't know these guys from Kuroshima but I've heard they have difficult characters." he smiled reassuringly. "So if anything happen, just give me a call, ok? Or you need to talk or anything, ok?"

"And what do you think will happen? I've been on my own practically for ten years, I'm used to it."

Itachi gulped. On his own from their parents' death, or murder to be exact. He didn't show this but the not-intended remark moved him deeply.

"Just be careful and try not to involve in any trouble. I know some people in this village might not be nice to you, so.."

"Itach" he sighted " I'll be fine"

"I'll also asked Kakashi to drop by."

"What?!" Sasuke's hands trembled, but the older one couldn't guess if it's anger or anxiety. "That's actually hilarious. I'm not going to see him, so spare him the trouble coming." heavy breath accompanied the statement. "Thank you for the meal," he stood up "bye."

"Sasuke!" the older man shouted, but Sasuke has already left.

.

He was a bundle of nerves. Upcoming trip required a lot of things to arrange, but constant worry over Sasuke paralyzed him today. Was it not for the Nishida's help, he would not have prepared anything.

"So what is it today, Itachi-kun?" the woman ask straight as they left the lunch bar and let the other's coworkers go. "Have you been, you know, drinking again or you're scared of these Kuroshima guys or what?" she said half-joking "Guess the second is impossible, so?" They walked slowly in warm sun and smoked their cigarettes.

"Please, I'm just tired, we had a hard week" he said with irritation.

"Sure, you're always tired and everything's always ok" she fell silent and looked away. Their feet rustled on the gravel alley. They almost reached the office.

"Mikami-san, I... I'm sorry " Itachi said embarrassed. "I didn't want to be rude, it's just... I have... a lot of things to think over recently" they stopped and he faced her.

"Oh, no offence taken, I know you're grumpy" she half smiled half smirked what meant she was back to her normal mood. She put her hand on Itachi's forearm in reassuring way. "Let's go" the woman started to walk.

Uchiha took a deep breath in. Actually why not? He liked being in her company, so maybe...

"Mhm Mikami-san, there's one more thing. When I'm back, would you go for a drink with me?"

"Drink? Isn't it what we always do after work? she laughed.

"I mean just the two of us"

.

The wind carried smells of dust and grease. People, so many people. Hurrying, greeting, waiting. Konoha railway station was a place dissimilar to omnipresent small quiet alleys and corners. Ninja never used trains as it was horribly slow, and the nobles preferred traditional means of transport like horses and sedans that show their wealth. But it was quite popular among civilians.

Sasuke stood there, in the centre of a platform wreathed by the chaos around him. Although he hardly ever used trains and had absolutely no memories of Konoha station, something about the atmosphere of a place plucked at his rusty heartstrings. Something about people waiting for theirs families to come, something about their excitement of going ahead. How was this feeling called?

He was afraid, he would be late and Itachi would just disappear. Yamato extended the meeting, as if he miraculously knew Sasuke has something important to do. Seeing his brother off was probably the first thing he truly care doing. Aniki didn't order him but ask, didn't behave as it was to fulfill obligation - to have a last check on Sasuke, but as he also really cared to see him before the departure. Plus in the morning he had left the flat quite suddnely and Itachi might had thought he is angry at him. Sasuke didn't want them to part like that. It turned out he arrived half an hour before Itachi. The train was already on the platform when his older brother arrived, they had only a few minutes.

"Nii-san!" he greeted him and was immediately surprised in his choice of word. The man smiled weakly at him. They stared each other for a moment. The man was pale, his hands shaking a little. Sasuke caught on his anxiety.

"When I'm back... we will ...just please take care and be safe." He squeezed his forearm. "I know you might not like the idea, but if anything happen, go to Kakashi, he will help you. He promised me that."

"Have a safe trip, nii-san" Sasuke felt a fleeting touch on his cheek. He felt so vulnerable right now. Like a leaf shaking on the wind. Itachi hesitated and move forward to hug him, but there was a wistle, a comand for departure, so the man quicky jumped inside and waved a hand and shouted _Ki o tsukete_ toward Sasuke. His figure got smaller and smaller, the train crawled up slowly into the mountains like a serpent.

A blow of icy air hit on the platform. So here was Sasuke Uchiha. A criminal, an avenger, an orphan, a lost boy. Raven's long hair danced in the irregular gusts. He felt empty. All he ever cared about laid it the world ahead. Yuugo. Karin. Suigetsu. Mountain wind whispered their names. A chill whipped him with guilt. Snowflakes begun to fall pricking his eyes, drawing involuntary tears.


	14. Sensei

_Itachi, Itachi._ Because of the man's fears he had to skip intriguing A mission in Hoshigakure. He could think of hundreds of things more interesting than babysitting juvenile deliquent who happened to be his former student - hence he had already known how arrogant and egoist the boy could be. But he promised, right?

He didn't pay much attention to Itachi's constant gibberish about his outotou. It was no more than typical overreaction of a panicked older brother. If Uchiha needed to talk his heart out, Kakashi was there to listen and offer comfort. Apparently, he was even willing to waste his time in the name of their friendship.

Well, in truth he was a little curious of this new Sasuke. Sakura has started mentioning him in their conversation again. The girl moved from irritation about having to occasionally work with young Uchiha to... mhm was it contentment? Nostalgia or maybe hope? Either way she said he is even more withdrawn and reticent than ever, but she praised his new modesty and engagement in work.

That was something. For the whole previous year they pretended as their former teammate didn't exist. Naruto still avoided this topic and Kakashi saw how terribly shattered the young Uzumaki is because of the whole Sasuke thing. That's why he couldn't forgive his former student.

It's not that Uchiha brat did something to them after the war. It's rather the things he did not. Like he had never ever uttered a word of apology. Like he didn't want to change, to accepts defeat. Like he rejected the second chance team 7 was willing to give him. He should have talk to them, show a minimum of consideration to his team, to Naruto's suffering. Everybody does mistakes, but Sasuke hadn't learnt a thing, still arrogantly, maniacally repeating tha he hadn't been wrong, even when his stubbornness brought him to sealing off his chakra. So everything happened to his former student, Kakashi was not responsible for it. He washed his hand from it.

Hatake stood in front of Itachi's flat and hesitated. It was Sunday so the boy should be home. He focused and managed to caught signs of somebody's presence in the bedroom. He knocked.

Silence. He knocked again. The person shuffled, but didn't even come closer to check who's there.

He tried again. Nothing. Shit, he didn't expect this. Why the brat has to be so troublesome?

"It's Hatake Kakashi" he shouted through the door. "I'd like to talk to you. I know you're there". Silence.

_Kuso_. „I promised Itachi to see you, so please cooperate. You don't want to worry him, do you?"

An old neighbor opened her door. "Yes, young man?"

Fuck. „Good morning." he smiled. He know this old cat-crazy hag, she always commented on his night visits at Itachi's and threatened to call the police because of peace disturbance. She didn't realize though that Itachi himself is "the police".

„Itachi –kun is away". she glared at him with indignation.

"Yep, I know."

"And this little satanist is not leaving the flat. He charmed my Ginger and Misty and Tiger and they jump to their balcony now."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm here to check if the sabbath is going well. So don't worry, I'm a specialist."

"You! What an arrogance. Be sure I will inform the administrator what is going on in this flat! Goodbye!" she shut the door.

Oh, what a comedy. Shame Itachi didn't hear that.

"So Sasuke, I hope you've heard that I need to check on you now. If you won't open up, I have a spare key, you know?" he said lightly. His good mood was back.

First answer was a prolonging silence. When Kakashi was about to give up, he heard steps coming closer and the scraping of a lock.

"_Douzo_" resigned voice invited him inside.

The boy instantly disappeared. Kitchen noise gave out he went to make a tea for his guest. Kakashi took of his boots and moved to the living room. Actually he already "checked out" that the brat's alive and he could go, but he was curious and decided to tease Sasuke's a little. He know the place good enough not to feel embarrassed. Nothing changed here from when Sasuke moved in.

He sat on the floor at the Japanese table from where he had a perfect view on his student. Kakashi recognized these worn out jeans and loose jumper Sasuke was wearing – Itachi's. Slim figure reached up to the cupboard, and the sleeve rolled down showing the first circles of seals on the wrist.

"Let me be clear, brat. " he started sharply "I don't care what's going on with you, we're both not keen on each other company to say it lightly, but I made a promise to Itachi. So here I am, and for our sake, don't make it difficult." The boy didn't even turn to look at his guest untill the tea was ready.

"_Douzo_" Sasuke came back and served him tea. He himself sat near the balcony window, staring blankly outside. Sensei didn't like this odd behavior, what the boy was up to now, ignoring him?

"Itachi called me and all he was able to talk about is you. I don't know what you're doing to make him worry so much, but whatever it is, stop. Don't drag decent people in your misery."

"So you have a spare key." Sasuke stated angrilly. "How serious are you two?"

"Yes I have, you heard it. And yes, we are friends but it's none of your business"

"'Friends', eh? Aren't you too old for him? "what a rude kid! "You fancy his young body or you're turn on when he's seeking consolation in your shoulder?"

"You're ridiculous. As if i'm gonna discuss it with you." he was pissed. He knew the brat want to spite him, well, he started it but Sasuke definitely crossed the line.

"Don't drag decent people in your misery, Hatake"

"You're a little parasite." jounin hissed through clenched jaw. "Such egoist like you could never understand what a friendship is. You are a virus that infect all good around you. You're destroying Itachi, but I will not let it happen."

"Yes? So during this year what have you done for him other than banging him?" Sasuke finally faced him, fire in his big charcoal eyes.

Slap. Kakashi couldn't hold it any longer. He hit the kid on his arrogant face. Maybe because the accusation woke a pang of guilt in him. He breathed heavily observing as the boy is holding on his burning cheek. A few moments passed in silence. Jounin stood up to leave. What a waste of time. And Itachi wouldn't be pleased of the outcome.

"You're brother must be so disappointed of you." he added for goodbye.

Maybe it was mentioning his brother, maybe the fact that he go violent in Sasuke's own house, but when he was lacing his boots up, Sasuke called from behind him in shaky voice.

"Hatake-san, please accept apologies for my rudeness. I didn't mean it. Itachi is lucky to have a friend like you."

Ninja was stunned. Sasuke was never sorry, not the Sasuke he knew. He slowly turned out to see the boy staring at him with wide eyes. He bowed and muttered another apology.

"I am sorry. And please do not come here again when Itachi's not home. Please". Old Sasuke neither showed fear. _Kuso_, after all he didn't like this new version.

Before him stood a shell of a man. A frame once handsome and agile was now a shaky cage to small for this once pride soul. Shock temporally washed away all anger Kakashi mustered toward his student. This is the boy he used to train, used to like and care about.

Sasuke surely disappointed his sensei but maybe Kakashi also failed Sasuke? Oh, not again, he had mulled over it for hundreds time.

" Yes, take care, Sasuke. I ... I promised Itachi." why he even said this? He reached as if to touch him, but stopped halfway.

Kakashi spun on a heel and got out of the flat. Later this evening he got a call form a very grateful Itachi, apparently he had talked to Sasuke, who assured nii-san the meeting went well.


	15. Days of solitude

He was not an idiot. He was not insane. Definitely. He was not some stupid pathetic emo. So everything he did was because it was logical, well planned and surely not driven from unbridled emotions. He was practical. Everything should have its purpose. That is what he thought of himself. Then, what was his purpose?

Few days of solitude had their toll on him. They dragged infinitively. Once he was angry without reason and everything irritated him. Like Itachi who pitied him and treated as he was a hopeless child. Next moment Sasuke could turn indifferent, fed up with all of these.

He stopped speaking, because who should he speak to? Ok, he talked with Itachi on the phone each night, so for the short breaks he got out of his inside world to assure everything's fine and whatever lies nii-san wanted to hear. It didn't bother him much, because he was prepared for the phones, and as soon as he heard a bip on the other side of the line, he was again in his mind. Or again in his fury, throwing pillows around the house (he couldn't afford real damage though).

He shut himself for the outside world, because there was nothing for him there. And yes, he still obeyed daily courtesy, but it was automatic and he could easily replace polite thanks and good-mornings with smiles. The character of his jobs let him serve his duties almost absent minded. That was good for a time being.

Of course sensei's visit, such intrusive thing, managed to unnerve him enough to earn a reaction. He intended to ignore knocking, but then, there was a commotion on the corridor, and sensei threatened he would go in, Sasuke's willing or not. That sent a grip of anxiety down Sasuke's spine. Stupid thing, but the flat was no longer safe if somebody else could intrude. So he opened the door, behaving as politely as he mustered and sunk deeper in his absent state, hoping anger won't take better of him. If he played along, the visit would soon be over and Itachi would stop worrying. He just wanted to have peace, to be left alone. He purposely avoided eye contact with the man as he let him in - who knows what thoughts his former sensei would awake.

Then somehow it turned pretty ugly. Silver-haired jounin claiming to be Itachi's friend, but he is such a liar. River of resentment flooded Sasuke mind. It was Kakashi who had given up on his student, who didn't want to see who Sasuke really is. Training him as long as it was cool to have "the last Uchiha" in his team. Not to see why he had to go to Master Orochimaru, not to let him explain when it mattered (now it does not). To look at him as a failure, but Sasuke didn't deserve that, he hasn't been wrong! The young Uchiha was sure sensei is only taking Itachi's kindess, using him, because nii-san is perfect. But in the end Hatake would also leave him, as he left Sasuke.

Then these angry words. He couldn't hold back, his rebel part, his protective part, awaken.

Itachi wouldn't like that. Itachi wouldn't like that, why parasite-brother should make him worry even more? Sasuke just wanted peace, he didn't have strength to argue more, not over petite things like former sensei. This is not worth it, so he apologies, Nii-san surely would get to know about this situation. When Kakashi's gone, and the door is locked again, Sasuke simply cries at his helplessness. What else is left to do? Quietly, choking at the tears, that don't bring any relief. Spasms go through his chest as he sits in the corridor, just where he had sunk down after the guest left. He wipes the watery trails from his cheeks, but as soon as he touches himself, he starts again. They are there. He doesn't need mirror to know, to see them. How he hates this body, tied by the black ropes of the seals. He cups his head in hands, caresses them looking for some comfort, but the patterns already started to burn. He touches his neck now, because they're there, he pulls up his shirt because they cover his stomach, occupy his shoulders. Under the naked skin every muscle and strain tremble. Embracing himself, moving back and forth, he let the despair run along with salty tears until his eyes and emotions are dry empty. Itachi's coat falls down from the hook and covers Sasuke's still form.

.

Nothing bothers him anymore. He slept over for work. Who cares. Is it Wednesday?

.

His rebel part is back again. Yamato badmouthing nii-san again, questioning purity of their brotherly love, taunting the boy for willingly joining Snake-pedophile. Sasuke doesn't give a fuck about consequences. No, Master was cruel, but he did never... not like... He shouts and the chakra seals are burning. Itachi is to be left alone, he demands. And this village Yamato consider so moral, so just, is no better, is rotten to the spine. Oh, he knows well why the wood-user hates Sound. Experiments? Human body modification? Hahaha. He goes as far as to draw up his shirt to expose pattern-covered belly. This is all the same, all the same. In Konoha Sasuke too was never more than a tool, a prisoner, a body to use.

And what standing does this failure of an experiment has? How stupid one can be to believe that going as far as to create wood-user who could stop the tailed- beast is just Orochimaru's whim? The Anbu Capitan was no more than a crippled child, found on a dumpster, given a chance by his Master- Sasuke hisses in anger random facts he learnt at Sound - And if not for Orochimaru's "betrayal" Yamato would become brainless puppet at Root. So what an irony! Sasuke's throat is on fire, he cannot talk more. Fury cedes her place for shame at the sudden intimate outburst, he hunches at his seat regretting he made a scene.

His supervisor doesn't react immediately, maybe he is surprised at the sudden claims, maybe he has to mull over the revelations. Or the accusations temporally took him aback. The air is full of tension that suffocates them both. Then he gives up to the simmering emotions. He steps to Sasuke, and pin him to the wall.

"What do you even know" he hisses. That has to be lies. Has to. The holds on Sasuke's arms get tighter. Young Uchiha sobers completely from his frenzy but other feeling immoblilize him now. Danger. Fear.

"Look at me" Yamato orders and cups his chin to force eye contact. "You little liar." he shakes him and pin again. But it is not enough to ease his anger and push back the fear over his identity. Sasuke actually does nothing more than hold the stare - like a rabbit caught in headlights, but his posture speak to the jouninn of defiance and disdain.

"You little fucker". Slap. So it begins. Yamato will gain "his truth". The boy tries to wriggle out but his efforts go in vain. A hit. "We are nothing alike, liar", and another "You are a filthy traitor, don't know any sense of loyality" and another. "If it was up to me, I would have you pay dearly." Slaps are no longer satisfying as he proceeds. Anything the boy does to fight back, to protect himself, doesn't work. His guard is full of holes, his own hands cannot overcome even a single one of vicious hands. Like a puppet tugged on the wind. The complete control Yamato has over his parolee seems to fuel him up. The boy's ineptness he interpreted as a fear of fighting back, of resisting him again. The boundaries are crossed. What he had suffered, how he had been seeking for his identity is blurring his thoughts. And the brat, the worst example of Orochimaru's follower, a traitor, a liar came back to the Village and walks free sowing chaos and falsehood, pretending he is better than others. He hadn't forgot how the punk nearly killed him on Tenchi Bridge Reconnaissance Mission. This fucker understands only strength arguments, so here are they.

He doesn't stop until he realises the boy is laying on his feet. Surprised at how it escalated, he panickedly look around for a clue what to do next. Fuck. How did it come to it? What if... Surely he didn't want to... He sharply grabs the boy and makes him stand. Relief washes over him when Sasuke responses in weak jerks to break free. Young Uchiha slides down the wall and breathes heavily, ruby trickle running from his nose. Yamato leans as to offer some help, but stop half-way. He doesn't want to touch the boy again, to admit he's wrong.

Sasuke's feeling dizzy and can't read his own thoughts. Let him rest a little and he'll be gone, just a few breaths. The blood is running down his chin dropping, staining clothes borrowed from Itachi . Shit. Brother will know. It doesn't hurt that much, it's not like it hasn't happened before (but never to such scale though). Getting a hit or two was no big deal, he got used to uglier things done to him in Konoha. But he refused to be what he despised, and now he was exactly the hated thing: a weakling. It's not physical damage that hurts the most, but not being able to do anything significant about it, not even to spite his tormentor. Power isn't everything, eh? Who said such absurd?! Without Itachi, Sasuke is nobody here.

Uchiha heard as Yamato made a quick phone call with only one sentence "Come here quickly" and paced through the room ignoring his parolee. After a certain time, Sasuke's ninja instinct caught up light steps on the corridor. It's Hatake's.

The boy is right and the silver haired jounin shows up. The man quickly judges the situation, checks the boy from the distance and takes Yamato to the corridor. Sasuke's face is red from shame, being so patetic, helpless in front of this man, but in the commotion nobody notices. It's a wonder, because he was sure he no longer care for keeping up apperances much less something so petite as acknowledgements of his former sensei. Especially after their last meeting.

Thin walls carried muffled but tense voices of the jounins back to the room, to Sasuke's ears.

"So please tell me you were attacked and engage in a fight, although you don't have any marks, because that is the only acceptable answer to this situation." Irritated steps accompanied the accusations.

"Kakashi"

'Fuck. And you know I was supposed to look after him? It's not that I care about the brat, but are you insane?

"I will not try to justify my action. And I don't hide that I hate him, I hate his attitude, his admiration to the Snake, and everything about him. But, damn, Kakashi I know it is just a kid, but still a fucking punk... It got out of control somehow. You know how arrogant he is, he doesn't understand anything but strength." he added.

"So what do you want me to do?"

"Take him home or something. Anything so he won't be in my room. I bet he'll be fine till morning."

"Me? You owe me one, a big one, Tenzou! You know well that I can't stand the kid as well."

"And you don't have to mention about it to anybody, right?"

"But it is the last time. Really. I won't cover you up next time. However he behaves, it is just wrong. He might be a trash, but beating him ... did he at least deserve it?"

"Thanks, Kakashi. Damn with these Uchihas, there's always so much trouble with them, fortunately there's only two of them now." A thud stated somebody just hit the wall.

"You know, I actually know one Uchiha that happens to be a great person. And just listen to yourself, are you completely fucked up? I take it to emotions this time but don't you ever repeat it again in my presence. Maybe you should get to know Itachi someday, because he is the most amazing man I've ever met, and as much as I'm fed up with his brother, Sasuke's also not a complete evil either."

"Ok, ok, take it easy. I didn't mean that." the voice hit apologetic tone" I'm grateful to you Kakashi. And I really try to do my duty, to be just, to make him learn on his mistakes. You know well how arrogant, how obstinate he could be. Sometimes the anger just takes better of me, but I don't mean to harm him on purpose."

"I know, I can completely understand you, Tenzou. Get some rest and I'll tend him and take him home"

"Thanks again, sempai."

The doors opened, but only Hatake returned. Yamato steps echoed on the staircase.

"So Sasuke, are you ok?" he asked as unemotionally as always, eyeing him with one dead-fished eye.

"Mhm" the boy was getting up, with the support of the wall. He was more or less ok. He earned a few cuts, his ribs hurt and felt sick after the blows in the guts, but ninja experience told him, it's of course nothing life threatening. He couldn't suppress sudden quivering of muscles which hardly supported him. They were tired off, trying to spark some energy from his hungering body.

Kakashi's hands secure his arms so he didn't fall and didn't let go even though Sasuke's flinched and tried to wriggle out.

"We go home now, ok? Then I'll tend you. Can you walk?" there was some unfamiliar undertone in his still tense tone. If young Uchiha had been more attentive and self-confident now, he might wonder if it isn't ray of worry.

Despite his reluctance to being touched and unwillingness to be seen weak, the boy couldn't do anything and soon gave up struggling again his former sensei. There was no point in it, and he was so tired. Whatever, let it be over as soon as possible. He turned his head, looking anywhere just not at the sensei, and let him lead him out of the building. Fortunately jounin listened to Sasuke and left him under Itachi's tenement house.

.

Yamato scolding him again? No, it's Lady Tsunade, she's shouting, because he's broken a vile. The time doesn't flow but hops now. He looks at his palms, they're shaking. Pieces of glass are in his flesh. He was caught up daydreaming. He's sore and hurting from yesterday fight, but evidences of it haven't yet emerged on his skin. Ironically it's luck that Yamato hit his torso more than his face. The real problem is his liver, it doesn't stop throbbing as if it earned damage too. It just need time to heal.

The woman leads him to sit. She tends to his wounds. A kind touch. He forgot a touch can be so delicate. There's a gulp in his throat and it's hard to breath. Some light flashes into his iris. He realized she listen to his dead heartbeat with icy stethoscope. A hand grabs softly his face on the cheek. She caresses his neck, a tenderness of mother.

"You must be tired" he heard her soft voice. He breathes her sweet scent in. Remind him of a white flowers they used to grow in their garden.

Her trained eyes caught the light quiver of his body, her hand measures his heightened temperature. He doesn't register as her finger trails on the cut mark under his fringe..

"What's wrong with you?" even though Tsunade is always direct and rather insensitive (just like Naruto , a thought strikes through Sasuke's head) she's – as for her -delicate now. She's got him with this easy trick. "Got cold?" she even asks, as he was one of her patients.

"Just tired" met with attentive silence and a hand resting on his shoulder, he feels obliged to continue. "Didn't sleep to well"

"It's not just this night, right? How about eating? From how long you don't have an appetite?"

That's ridiculous, Sasuke thinks but isn't angry. He will not have a conversation about his eating patter like she was his mother. And what about this assumption he doesn't eat properly? But his mind is tired and threatens to trail off again, so he holds on to the talk.

"I do have" he states weakly.

"Sometimes I have an impression you look worse than after getting out of prison." she speaks more to herself now, still holding the sitting boy by the shoulder. Changing the topic, she continues "I assume, you haven't talked with Naruto, eh? Just sort out you two your shit already, I'm fed up with his clunky indirect ways asking how you're doing."

What? That fucking idiot ask about him? He, the one who had abandoned Sasuke?

The knock saved him form answering, and Sakura, bright as ever, poped in. The girl stopped surprised at the scene.

"Shishou, Sasuke-kun" she greeted them.

"Oh Sakura, it's lunch time, isn't it? Sasuke isn't feeling well today." Tsunade explained to the silent Haruno. "So let's go eating. Of course you are coming with us, Sasuke, and no excuses, it's a Hokage's order. Then, you'll take the afternoon off".


	16. Petite kindness

AN: Thanks for your support even though I don't update reguraly. You who's been reading and reviewing it from a longer time 3 and you who's joined recently .muchas gracias, tu revista me dio mucha alegria. KHB123 - i hardly ever recieve such elaborate comments and I'm so happy that you gave this story so much thoughts.

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Sh - sh -sh -sh. Sh - sh -sh -sh. That sound made him so anxious. They were moving in snail's tempo, as the heavy machine was climbing up the hills that guarded the entrance to the Fire Country. The sh - sh -sh -sh, repeating incessantly. The landscape outside the window didn't seem to move at all. He had a bad feeling and would like to be already at home with his brother. If not for his tension he would surely enjoy the breathtaking view. Austere mountain ridges scraped the icy white sky. Rocky teeth led the train into the tight trough of the mountain pass. People inside the metal machine was to be swallowed by the Kami of the Fire Mountains.

Kuroshima itself wasn't bad. Itachi colud even call the visit fruitful. His boss's fears were rather exaggerated. He felt he had found a common ground with the village leader, Fykuya. They were much alike in the sense of beliefs and characters. The smaller village was an important stop on the drug trail, but was lacking manpower and experience to deal with the problem itself. Konoha police department was willing to share their resources in order to maintain peace in the region, but Kuroshima had also reasonable doubts about their sovereignty if Konoha people were to reside in the _sato_ for too long. So Uchiha proposal to erect a training center there and take some instructors from Leaf Villeage was met with great enthusiasm. Fukuya showed Itachi all the local attractions and they spent a lot of time on social meetings to "build mutual trust". It was supposed to be a pleasant trip, but Uchiha couldn't completely relax as the thoughts about Sasuke were occupying his mind. Although he had spoke with Sasuke almost everyday, a feeling that something happened didn't want to leave him.

Sh - sh -sh -sh. The closer to home he was getting, the stronger were the pangs of guilt. He ought to make up for the more than a week of absence. What to do? Maybe they should go to Ichiraku's? Last time it was fine, Sasuke seemed to enjoy it, except they drank too much. Alcohol was the last thing his ototou needed right now, but Itachi was sure that going out more frequently would do him good. At least just to change the environment, to be around people. Although Uchiha brothers had each other on daily basis, there were some conversations suited for home and some suited for hanging out. He had been neglecting Sasuke's needs, spending his free time with friends while nii-chan was locked in the walls of their flat. If not for his egoism, he might have noticed sooner that Sasuke struggles so much and needs better care. In truth Itachi never gave it much thought, which fact was stinging his conscious now. He was still lost, acting solely on intuition, but the whole week away from Sasuke let him see things from perspective. Earlier he just thought that, well, of course ototou's having a hard time but mostly because of his caprices, his constant rebel attitude. Pampering him or making him feel weak by the excesive care would rather do more harm than good. He would just need time to adjust like Itachi did one year ago.

When the older Uchiha finally regained free will from Madara's binding seals and settled in the village, everything was alien to him. Like he was out of place and time. Things, buildings of the _sato_, people he met, seemed somehow familiar but still the whole world around him was off, like well-known puzzle pieces mixed randomly and carelessly put together into the bigger picture. But he figured out his life with the support of Kakashi and others. Atually jounin was the first person he had stumbled upon after Madara's defeat and the first person that had trusted in him. Itachi remembered the wary looks and fear of Hatake's companions, all ready to attack at their first meeting at Amae forest just after the battle. If not for the silver-haired man who give him a chance to explain in few harsh sentences that Itachi had done things because he had been coerced to do them - and made a decision to believe in Uchiha, Itachi would have surely not walked out of the woods alive. Not that he cared much about his life back then, but he still had ototou to take care of, to love. It was also Kakashi who told him then that his brother's has been taken care of. Having no more strength than what it is to stand with a support of other's arm and to breathe, he clung to the man's promise that he would - in Itachi's place - see to it that Sasuke stays safe.

When the news that Itachi is really alive broke out people quickly overcome first shock. He was not the only one to come back from presumed death, and after so many incredible things happened at war, people just got used to 'miracles' and swiftly passed their attention to their everyday businesses. However, Sasuke reaction was... well, Itachi couldn't exactly tell, but it was far from a blissfull family reunion the older man expected from his brother. He didn't want to admit it, but it hurt him deeply. Sasuke, although weak and wounded, somehow found strength to ignite his frenzy. So it started again, accusation thrown at village, (some even thrown at Itachi!), undefined plans to seek for justice together, alternated burst of affection and anger. The older sibling couldn't even tell if ototou was happy to see him again or would rather he stayed dead.

So escaping hell hadn't lead Itachi to heaven. He might expect too much from his brother, who could offer him neither support nor respite. Everything was again on Itachi's shoulders, he was on his own and he might have fallen, but the _sato_, his home accepted him and gave him new purpose. Lady Tsunade was the second person who trusted him and made his rehabilitation possible. From then on he held great respect to her and decided to bestow her with his loyality.

When he recovered, he engaged in post-war reconstruction. That was his way of moving forward. There was a lot of work so any willing person was needed and he was particularly passionate about rebuilding his home (for him, for Sasuke). Soon he crossed paths with Kikuta-san and Mikami-san and together they erected the organization with Hokage's strong support, who already had enough on her shoulder with all the mess with ninja squads.

Mountain god chew thoroughly the train with every sh-sh-sh and eventually spited out the machine. They were sliding down countless serpentines, and the nature around them changed. It grew in abundance now, as they descended deeper and deeper into the valley. Small red maples, whose leaves stained the whiteness of frozen meadows, were unmistakable sign they are in the Fire Country; after all they gave this land its name. They would reach the village in a matter of half an hour. Itachi couldn't sit still any longer. He left the compartment and passed the corridor there and again with his small suitcase, all ready for getting off.

The point is, Itachi managed to find his place in the village. He came as a criminal but he did eventually gain respect and friendship by his own hard work. He assumed if this had worked for him, it would work for Sasuke as well. It had to be 'hard' because Sasuke could not possibly respect anybody who is 'weak', and could not possibly listen to them. Parole conditions were just in Itachi's eyes. Ototou wasn't a saint, Itachi was well aware of that. He was neither a person who would let somebody pity him. Itachi couldn't have been wrong in his approach. Or could he? How could he overlook so much?

.

Two figures were standing at the platform waiting for Itachi. He spotted them instantly in the sea of passangers. Around the thin silhouette of Sasuke, clad as usual in dark, there was empty circle of space, as if civilian didn't want to go near him. A few steps away there was a silver flame of hair clearly visible above the crowd. Both of them had to be aware of each other presence, although they didn't interact at all. As he approached them, he exchanged a quick nod with Kakashi and gave his full attention to Sasuke.

His brother was visibly tired. He seemed more fragile and vulnerable than usual, but maybe it was because Itachi hadn't paid much attention earlier. He let the man cuddle him in a firm embrace. Sasuke's body felt cold and stiff. He didn't return the hug. Finally Itachi moved back and cupped ototou cheeks. His brother was here, in his hands. Alive and safe.

Calmness flowed his mind as week-long worries went off his chest. He smiled brightly and surprisingly, Sasuke's features eased, and Itachi could swear his lips twitched as if forming for a smile too.

"I'm glad you two came for me" Itachi step back and patted Kakashi's shoulder.

"Good to see you again" jounin grabbed Uchiha's arm. "So, guess you're tired now, we'll be in touch then, Itachi. Sasuke". Former sensei and his student nodded reluctant goodbye and the older man was gone.

Itachi put his arm on Sasuke's shoulder and lead them to the exit. Surprisingly otouto didn't shrug aniki's hand off like always. There was some sort of resignation in his posture.

"Nii-chan, you okay?" Itachi gave him an attentive look, but the boy didn't look back. Another icy blow hit them and the man pulled the boy even closer to his body in a simple gesture of protection.

"Lady Tsunade let you go earlier? That's nice of her"

"I have a few days off" usual terse response, not showing any additional meaning.

"Oh, but everything's good? Itachi stopped and turned to face Sasuke, only giving him his full attention was the way to earn some informations from his brother.

"Yeah, yeah, she just insisted I should take some time to rest" the boy's voice struck in slightly irritated tones.

"Ototou, did you make her angry at you?" Itachi grabbed him by the arms, delicately, but pressing him for an answer.

"Give me a break." the youner one rolled his eyes but didn't shout, just sighted in resignation. "Why are you always assume the worst. It's just... let's call it a sick leave. Nothing happened" he shrugged his shoulders.

"Sick? Are you sick?"

"Mhm, let's say I'm not in my highest life form, but I am ok. Let's go, I want to be already home."

On their way home some people greeted Itachi and waved at him, but other than this they arrived at their flat undisturbed. Their place seemed even cleaner as ever, as if nobody lived there. Itachi went stright to unpack his little belonging. Along the way he was telling Sasuke about his stay and things he did and saw. Younger brother watched him silently from the armchar, charcoal eyes following his movement feverishly, but Itachi had the impression he didn't really listen. However the boy looked more relaxed, more healthy now than on the station. When he was finished, he sat on an armrest of the armchair occupied by the boy and dared to put his hand on the other's head. He needed to go out now to give his reports, but thoughts of leaving his brother somehow stirred up his anxiety. Touching him was reassurung his nerves.

"Sasuke, I need to go now to work, just for an hour or so."

"Ok, so go" already Sasuke wriggled out of aniki's reached.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I said before, I'm fine. You can go" he really looked much better now, as if reunion with his brother swept away his worries and gave him strenght, elevating his mood.

"So... I don't want to tire you, but don't you want to see how I work? On other days there's a lot of commotion but today I can give you a tour through my office, well what do you think?" this way he could keep ototou near him, make sure he's ok, and later they would go for a dinner.

The boy didn't answer momentarily, but Itachi saw he managed to sow some seeds of curiosity in him. Actually it was the first time he was letting Sasuke in his world, and now he regretted not having done something like that earlier, as it would clearly help their relation. Nonetheless Sasuke took the bait and agreed with the soft voice, disclosing his insecurity.

"Great, and no need to worry. You've already met Kikuta-san and most of the time you will be with me." Itachi added to convince him.

The boy frowned and it seemed he was a bit offended that Itachi so easily read his anxiety. That made the man want to laugh but he held back and only let himself heckle Sasuke's hair as he used to do in childhood. Raven's fringe danced under brother's touch and his unsuccesfull attempts to move away. Behind the dark strands snow white skin shone through, but it's purity was spoilt by a violet bruise that occupied Sasuke's left temple. Itachi's good mood was gone in an instant. He dropped his hands trying to conceal the emerging anger.

"What's wrong, aniki?" the young one looked up with surprised in his eyes.

"Nothing, I've just remembered I had another report to write." he can't have a talk about it with Sasuke right now, it would surely lead to another quarrel. "Shit, I need half an hour and then we can go" he smiled to prove everything's good.

"Right. I will take a nap. Just don't go without me"

"Sure, I promised"

Itachi received a smile as Sasuke was leaving to the bedroom. Such petite thing raised ototou spirits so much. Why hadn't he thought about it eariler? And whoever hurt his brother will pay.


	17. Boiled over

AN: hey there, I don't want to repeat myself but I am really gratefull for your support. THX

* * *

"Oh! and that must be Sasuke-kun!" Kikuta shouted jovially. The new place, new atmosphere had stimulating effect on the teenage. He looked around the busy office with sparks of curiosity, but keep close to _aniki_. Older brother took them straight to his boss, and the formalities started. Kikuta's muscular olive hand squeezed and shook young Uchiha's hand vigorously. Soon he shortened the distance even further and padded his shoulder. "You are so similar! Nice to meet you!" He openly looked at him, straight at his face. Sasuke immediately noticed the gaze. He became almost invisible to villagers and if somebody actually favour him with shreds of attention, it was mostly furtive looks on his chakra seals, or inattentive glimpses. In spite of the broad smile and easy going attitude around the boss, Sasuke had a feeling these deep chocolate eyes pierced him as if trying to read him. They weren't hostile, but quite judging, intrusive, as if the man might actually know what is lurking in the corners of his mind. Nobody had looked at Sasuke like this man, at least not for a really long time.

The raven boy nodded his head and smiled awkwardly at the older man to show him due respect. Disconcerted, he almost regret not having stayed home and shifted unconsciously closer to Itachi . "Yes, we have meet before in Ichraku's, sir."

"Oh, yes, yes, you're right. You boys had a good time then, right?" Kikuta winked. The enchantment broke. The boss was no longer prying into his thoughts, he was just an ordinary man in his 50ties. Sasuke was lost for words but fortunately Itachi took the floor and lead the conversation to business.

"Boss, I'll have the reports..."

"It's already afternoon Itachi, it's enough what you've send me on emails." he waved a hand, dismissing the work "I skimmed through them, glad you've made it. I guess you're more suited for this kind of work. Either way we will hold a meeting on Monday so you can let everybody in, besides, give me time to think about the next steps." he put a hand on Itachi shoulder praising him for the good job.

"Thank you boss, actually if I'm already here with my brother, I would like to show him our office."Older Uchiha seemed confided and pleased with the situation."Can I?"

"Sure, or I have a better idea, Sasuke-kun, let - me- show you around. Actually we should start from the heart of our office, that is ..."

He was cut off by a knocking on the door. The guest didn't wait for an answer and soon Mikami was in, joining them, smirking at her colleagues, looking curiously at the teenage who, as distinct and feral as he was, wore striking resemblance to Itachi.

"Oh! and that must be Sasuke-kun!" the woman repeated Kikuta's words what made the boss and Itachi laugh. "I'm pleased to meet you, I've though Itachi-kun will be hiding you forever." They started from Itachi's office, visited interrogation rooms with two-way mirrors, had a peak into labs full of hi-tech, strolled through urban planning department with Konoha miniature model... Kikuta, probably glad he found a reason to skip his duties and happy to have a new ears to brag about the organization he created, gave them almost two-hour long guided tour. Mikami teased Itachi, making friendly jokes of him and made verbal acrobatics to engage Sasuke in conversation as well. Itachi used the situation to put an arm on ototou's shoulders as they walked. Somehow having him under his touch, eased him, made him believe he is able to protect his younger brother. Sasuke was getting more and more silent, the excitement long washed away, letting be lead through corridors, sitting absent-minded in kitchen while drinking social coffee with them. Itachi's colleagues and subordinates popped in just to see their vice-boss's younger brother and be introduced under the pretext of welcoming the older Uchiha or passing him reports. Everybody played nice, Itachi's reputation steamed down on Sasuke. Mikami insisted on taking photo of the brothers. Following the convention, Itachi and Sasuke got closer, arms around each other, templates almost touching, mustering smiles. Sasuke was doing his best not to bring _aniki_ shame before colleagues. When they were leaving, once again Kikuta and Mikami shook hands with the boy, stating he is always welcome here.

Day full of emotion left the boy drained, so he once again hide in the bedroom to take a nap. Meantime Itachi tidied up a little, bringing home to perfection. He moved dark pillows from the sofa to armchairs and the green ones to sofa, where they belonged. Then he put Sasuke's sneakers in line next to his own shoes, noting that he should take him shopping for boots more suited for the season. Ototou always refused taking part in such activities as too troublesome. He insisted that in winter he would wear Itachi's old hiking boots, which the man already intended to throw away as worn out and too sporty for his position.

Then he checked on Sasuke, put additional blanket on him, as the boy laid curled up. Back in the living room he sank into an armchair skimming through a cookbook he got as a birthday present from Mikami-san. He wanted to make some light but restorative meal for nii-chan. Puddings? Porridges? He was no fan of these type of food and brother neither. He knew Sasuke was fond of tomatoes in any form and shape but these winter vegetables, pale and grassy in taste were just sorry imitation of the sun-bred crimson wonders. Wandering thoughts stopped at a distant memory. Lazy cold sundays but filled with family warmth, scarce occasions the Uchihas was not at work or dealing with clan matters. Mother used to cook thick broth, which smell lingered in every corner of their house. Father stopped grumping, criticizing and expecting and in these rare moments talked and played with his sons, being the ideal father for them. Itachi could be just who he was then - not an Anbu killing machine, but a teenage, a kid needing to put the adults worries off his shoulders. He quickly dismissed the memory in rising anger. Dwelling upon the past was useless. Sasuke should understand it too. He closed the book with a loud clap, but still took on the shoes and went out to buy ingredients for the soup. He would like it to be ready when ototou wakes up. He hoped Sasuke would be relaxed and in high mood so they could have a more serious conversation without risking a fight.

Itachi plans however went astray. During supper he asked Sasuke about the last week, the boy just shrugged his shoulders and murmured that he already told him everything over the phone. He was not rude, just laconic as usual. When the man took more direct approach and asked about the bruise, the raven boy was caught in surprise, freezing for a moment, but used the time to pretend he is thinking which of the bunch of insignificant daily occurrences might have cause it. Maybe when he slipped on the wet floor in the kitchen and hit the door frame - was his answer. He laughed the matter off and didn't protest when Itachi leant to him and pull his lengthy fringe up to examine the wound. In truth, the bruise was just a bruise, already yellowish and fading. There was no telling how it came to be, even with all Itachi's ninja experience. But ototou behaviour, seemingly open, but marked with underlying uneasiness told the man there's more to it than meets the eye. Further queries made Sasuke visible irritated and defensive. Itachi started to lose his temper. He was not sure if he would be able to control upcoming wave of anger - at the people who hurt his little brother and at the boy himself who defiantly refused big brother's help. He was afraid that he would blow off steam on Sasuke and squander any chance of getting honest answer from him on the matter. So, just about to boil on the inside, he let the case drop for now.

.

"So, was Sasuke in some kind of fight while I was away?" Itachi, as always, occupied the armchair near the window in Hatake's living room. It's been three days since his return. Sasuke, terse as ever, went to bed early. Probably to avoid taking to his brother about the bruise. Three days he was trying to get it from him, using any opportunity: walking with him to Sasuke's job in the morning, during meals, when they laid next to each others at night. Pushing the topic made Sasuke more distant and Itachi more irritated at his own ineptness in dealing with the situation. He came to the conclusion he won't get any answer that way. He also strengthened his belief that it was no accident as he managed to get a glimpse of fading bruises on Sasuke's forearm when the boy rolled up the sleeves to wash the dishes.

"Why do you think so?" the jounin asked in seemingly collected tone, spread in the second armchair, petting Pakkun that was sleeping on his lap.

"Well, I saw bruises on him. I asked you to watch over Sasuke, you surely must have notice something." he started cautiously.

"Oh, so he didn't tell you anything. Why don't you ask him?"

"You know how it is with Sasuke. And you admit something did happen, right?"

"I didn't say that. Either I don't know how it is with your brother." he barked sarcastically. "You only come to me when you want to talk about Sasuke. But really I don't know what you're referring at."

"Kakashi. Don't treat me like an idiot. I don't work as a ninja but that doesn't mean I instantly lost my skills. I'm not angry at you, but I just want to know what happened."

"Angry? So you are accusing me?" the silver brew traveled high. Pakkun sensed the turmoil in his master and raised his head in question.

"I didn't say that. But you were supposed to take care of him, while I'm gone, so I suppose you must know what happened, so just stop teasing me and tell me straightforward."

Seeing what is about to happen Pakkun jumped at the floor, shook off and growled that he was not going to participate in it. Then he disappeared in cloud of smoke and puff.

"Oh great, my dog is gone. If you have problems with Sasuke, you need to talk to him." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Come on. We've been through this already. I know you might not like my brother, and I'm sorry I left you with such a task, but you know, this is important for me and only you I can really trust."

"Oh stop. Don't try this trick with flattering me. And it's not that I really hate Sasuke or something. But coming back to the point - why you ask me. You should talk to Sasuke first. Make him speak. I don't know how you will do it, but make it happen. If you don't, you will never solve any problem."

"I've already tried to speak to him, but you can imagine how obstinate he is. He denies everything, but there's a bruise on his temple and forearm that is not easy to overlook.

"And what he's saying about that?

"That he stumbled and hit a door frame. Of course you don't have to be ninja to know it's such a flat lie." Itachi paused and sighted in irritation. "So who was it? Someone from teadm 7? Because you clearly cover this person."

"And you accusing me again?"

"No! I already said. I am not angry at you! I just want to know the truth! So it was Naruto, wasn't he? See, I'm not angry. I knew there would be some quarrels between them, that's ok as long as they don't kill themselves. Actually if they fought that would also mean they must have talked to each other, what is a good sign. But still I don't get it, why he keeps everything away from me. It's not that I would make a mess."

"It was not Naruto".

"Then who else? So you know! Who else is so important that you rather lie to me!"

"I didn't want you to worry... besides.. "

"O stop it! If not team 7, then what? Surely not some mob because you wouldn't let that happen. You wouldn't let anybody bully or abuse Sasuke - you're at least . But actually you did!.What was your motto again? That treating the worst scums like trash makes you even worse trash than them or something along the lines? Surely you see my brother as trash, but even though I trusted you have enough decency!"

"Calm down Itachi!" jouning became serious, dropping his usual blase attitude.

"Don't try to sweet-talk me, Hatake! I'm asking the last time. Who! Somebody from his job then? This supervisor Yamato - your ANBU friend?"

He stood up and turned to the window, so he could calm down and stop seeing this traitor.

"Just one more thing. And don't you dare to lie to me" he said in cold voice that covered boiling emotions " Did he lay a finger on my Sasuke previously? Because it would explain a lot." he added bitterly.

"I don't know. I know only about this time when you were gone." Kakashi came closer to his guest and put a hand on Uchiha's shoulder. "Itach, calm down, let's talk it over."

"Don't touch me!" Itachi brushed the hand away and turned to face Hatake. "Swear to me you're not lying." he hissed through clenched teeth.

"I swear. I would not..."

"Oh, you already did! "Itachi burst out "You already lied to me! Kuso! He will regret it, I'll make sure he will!" His eyes swirled red and chakra started to emerge, forming energy crack on the surface of his skin. He pushed jounin away to leave the room, but Kakashi managed to caught his arm.

"You're not leaving like that, Itachi. Anger won't solve anything" he said seriously.

"Let me go!"

"So what. You're gonna storm Hokage Tower seeking revenge? Beat Yamato to a pulp and be arrested, so Sasuke would be alone again? Or maybe shout at your brother demanding details? Enlighten me what is your genius plan?!"

"You are in no place to speak to me now!"

"Itachi, please, be reasonable" Kakashi managed to get between the man and the exit. He put his arms on Uchiha's to hold him down, but the man instantly ripped them away and dashed forward. Silver-haired didn't give up, he gripped Itachi from behind in firm embrace. Uchiha however already prepared elbow aiming at his temple. Ninja tightened the grip, so he avoided the hit keeping close to the man's torso, but soon, Itachi twisted his whole body, and they both landed on the floor. They wrestled for dominance with changing luck. They tore at their clothes, pulled at their hairs, but none of them dared to break it into an open fist fight or use chakra against each other as they rolled over between the sofa and the coffee table. Itachi finally succeed to immobilize the ninja in an armlock.

"Fuck, Hatake! leave me alone, you liar!"

"Calm down, I'm not your enemy" he mumbled with his mouth in his own carpet.

"Or maybe you are, how can I tell when all you do is lie to me!" He released the grip and dashed to the doors blinded by the ire in his heart. Kakashi, determined as he was, quickly collected himself and in the latest moment pulled on Itachi's leg as he was already waking away. Uchiha toppled at the sofa and jounin jumped straight on him. Pinning him with his own body, he immobilized man's hands twisting them behind raven's back. The weight of his body did his job well and Itachi struggled less and less. Or maybe the instant fury consede this naturally peacefull man. They lay chest to chest, glaring at each other hostily and breathed heavily, the hottest steam already blown off.

"You're just like Sasuke, you know? Acting on emotion, so easy to provoke." Kakashi snorted.

"You lied to me. I trusted you. Don't ever come close to me or Sasuke." the man retorted angrily.

"I am on your side. I swear I didn't know Tenzou is going violent on your brother."

"Somehow I think I don't believe you, Hatake" Itachi ironized

"At least listen to me. He just called me after the accident so I would take care of Sasuke and take him home. Sasuke seemed dizzy, but could walked and didn't want to receive any help from me. I'm sorry. I should have told you earlier, but I thought it's a matter between you and your brother."

"As if your poor excuses make any change. And get off me finally."

"There's one more thing I need to tell you. I am sorry. I slapped your brother".

"What the hell!? " a fire run through Itachi's body, putting him again in a short-lived struggle.

"I hit Sasuke in the face. When I was visiting him"

"I've heard. But for goodness sake, why! " he shouted in shock "You promised me, you've promised me you will take care of him in my absence. And if something would happen to me you will take him home!"

"And I will! I promised you that and nothing changed since then. He was rude, I lost my nerves and I am really ashamed. I confessed and I'm asking you to forgive me. I am ashamed that I hit a boy I swore to protect! I am ashamed I could not live to the promise I gave my best friend. But it already happened! I am no saint, neither is Sasuke."

"He might be rude, he might provoke you, he might... whatever. How does it justify you, Kakashi?! That the adult jounin was provoke by a moody teenager? Just listen to yourself!"

"I'm not trying to justify myself. Just telling you what happened." he paused. "And it's not that I hate him. I just... can't get to him."

"Fuck off already. Can't get to him! You were his damn sensei. And yes, I think it was your goddam job to take care of him. And what? The first thing he did under your tutelage was to run to this fucker Orochimaru. All you do now is wash your hands and act as an offended princess." he spat.

"Itachi" Kakashi finally stepped away from him, as he sensed Itachi's emotions cooled down. He shook his head in disbelief "you're stepping on the thin line."

"Don't make me laugh!" he was already on his feet, but not in a hurry anymore.

"And tell me one thing. Where were you then when your brother run to the snake scum? Who started all of these?"

"I did what I have to! I've told you this many times. But I'd do it again if this was the only a way to save Sasuke's life. But I don't need you to explain anything. How could you understand, you self-pitying, patetic, petite son of a bitch. Don't ever come to my home again. " he turned on his heel, but Kakashi's voice caught him in the corridor, as he put on his shoes and coat.

"Save Sasuke's life? What kind of life it was? You know, he was 13 when he first told me he wished he had died that night. 13 year old kid wanting to die! Can you even imagine? He told me similar thing two years ago, but this time, knowing the truth, he wished you hadn't been the one to execute the orders so both of you would have died along with your clan. If you have any balls at all ask him what he thinks now."

The door slammed loudly behind Uchiha Itachi.


	18. Stepped over

The door shut loudly. Kuso. Fortunately no noise from the bedroom followed. Ototou was asleep. He didn't want to wake him up, rest was what Sasuke really needed these days.

After all he hadn't rush to Hokage's Tower. At least in one thing this traitor was right. Itachi shouldn't act on his emotions. He would also need to talk to ototou first. The instant blazing anger was slowly ceasing, most of it burnt out in the fight, but ashy taste was no better. How this could happened under his protection? How this could happen in his village? Did Hokage-sama know? That was not the deal he had made.

He took his time to unlace his shoes, put them perfectly parallel to the wall, hang his coat. Sasuke's coat was just there, so he ran a hand through it, trying to feel the owner's emotions sleeping in the fabric. But the cloth fell down under his touch, as if even lifeless things wanted to express that Itachi's failed his brother.

He quietly drew the panels to the bedroom apart and peeped to check on the boy. Midnight dark hair spilled on the floor, the quilt moved up and down in the rhythm of the deep calm breath. Good. He's resting, when he wakes up they could talk. Itachi closed the doors and moved back.

Waiting was killing him. He tried to read, but he couldn't focus what he was seeing. He tried to watch tv, but the effect was the same. His eyes saw the screen, but his mind was mulling over the situation. He stepped out for a short run, but he ended up doing only a few laps around the building, afraid of missing the perfect moment for the conversation. He came back, took a quick shower and attempted to meditate. Sitting cross-legged at the balcony window he drew fresh air. Physical activity helped a little, but butterflies still danced in his stomach. Normally, in times like this, he would just go to Hatake and get it off his chest. Maybe jounin weren't the best advisor, maybe he didn't want to engage in matters that concerned Sasuke, but having somebody to talk sincerely, somebody who supported you, somebody who you could ask for comfort without the shame of being seen weak, was just enough. Now it's over, what a fucking liar. Really, Itachi no longer understood the man. Where did his loyalty lay? What he thought of him? Did he hate Sasuke or actually care in some really twisted way? Or just wanted to spite Itachi? And in truth, he didn't care to figure out Hatake anymore. How he dared to accuse him, he, who knew the best what Itachi was through - yes, he was the only person ever Itachi managed to utter some vague words about his past. He was again alone. No, he had Sasuke this time, who didn't see him as a murderer, who didn't hate him now. Or maybe he did?

He couldn't wait any longer. Somehow his own body felt too tight for his pounding heart, too stiff for the rush of blood that hissed in his ears. He started walking around the room, hoping to find some ease in his rhythmic steps.

He didn't know how much time has lapsed as he paced the floor, but at some point he caught the sheets rustled. Dishelved black head popped out of the panel doors. Itachi couldn't stand waiting, but now wished he had more time to prepare for the confrontation. He knew it would be hard and still hadn't figured out what method to use. He had been begging and pestering ototou from his return without any luck. He was fed up with it. Maybe it was truth that there was no other way with Sasuke than the "hard way". Being patient and kind apparently didn't work. Pushing the boy surely will make him close up, but if they won't talk know then when? When something serious happen? He was his older brother, damn it. If he could not force him to talk... He noticed trembling in his hands, so he put them behind his back.

"Itach" murmured the boy, the voice raspy, eyes still half closed, but lips forming in undecided smile.

"You feeling better?" the man faced him and gave him observant look. This trusting smile, tired eyes and fragile frame of his shoulders almost melted Itachi's reslove. He would do everything to hug Sasuke now and be truly brothers again, without grudges, without lies, without horrible past. Older Uchiha was painfully aware of every move he made, and each felt strange and artificial. Awkwardly he sat in the armchair and Sasuke followed, spreading on the sofa, still sleepy.

"Yep. Where have you been? Kakashi's? " he asked casually.

"Yes. But he would not bother us again." Mentioning jounin brought fresh wave of anger. He replied quickly, maybe too sharply, because the boy sensed the tention inmediately. Sasuke straightened and his wide eyes locked on Itachi's, giving him his full attention.

"Something's wrong?" questioned the boy.

"Yes. It is. But I would rather hear it from you." still, too harshly - Itachi scolded himself, he didn't want to put Sasuke on defense just at the beginning.

"Hah? What do you mean? Itachi, what's happened?"

"Why did you lie to me" he hoped it sounded calm but he didn't trust his voice anymore.

"Oh give me a break." the boy sighted irritated and stood up to leave. "You're still beating about it? It's getting boring..."

"Sit down."

"What for, we all know how it's gonna end. I will tell you AGAIN how I hit the frame and you will AGAIN say you don't believe me and so one. Because you never believe what I say."

"Sit down and once in a lifetime let us talk seriously. Without shouting, without offending, and running away."

"And who's saying this" the boy snorted.

"Before I'll deal with your supervisor for what he's done to you, I want to hear what really happened between you two." unusual coldness in Itachi's voice and the fact that he already knew took Sasuke aback. The boy complied and sat down in prolonged silence.

"Ok. Different question. Hatake."

"And what about him?"

Itachi sighted heavily. It won't be easy. Sasuke could be stubborn as hell. "Ok. It's ok Sasuke. I'll already know. He told me he slapped you."

"So why do you ask, if you know everything." he shrugged his shoulders in irritation.

"Sasuke. Becasue I want to hear it from you..." he paused and added "You should have told me earlier. I'd have.. "

"Yeah? You would have what? Give Hatake an angry phone call? Or maybe throw everything away and rush back to Konoha? "

"If the situation required it"

"Oh surely you would. And I'm not sarcastic here. I was perfectly fine. It's nothing I can't handle on my own. I have solved my problems on my own for ten years now. And by the way, if you are so chivalrous now, so realize at once that it is actually your fault. You should have not make him come to check on me. I didn't agree on that. "

"Yes, I am sorry. He will not bother you anymore. I'm done with him."

"Whatever. He is your problem" he added bitterly.

"Thank you, Sasuke. No, don't leave yet." he held him down with a gesture. "There's still the issue with Yamato. He must have done it with his fist, haven't he?"

Silence.

"Sasuke"

"Yeah, genious, with his fists. Spare us the obvious questions." he spatted.

"Fuck!" Itachi shouted and sprang to his feet. Sasuke flinched at the sudden reaction and looked away. Bursting with emotions, the man started to pace the room again. When he calmed down enough to trust himself he won't do anything stupid, he continued.

"So why didn't you tell me?"

Silence

"Sasuke... how I am supposed to help you if you keep everything to yourself? Why?"

"Why? Because. Is getting this knowledge change anything? Such petite thing is not worth bothering." he shrugged his shoulder.

" Of course it is. He overused his position and hurt you. It is intolerable. Not on my duty!"

"Tche. Drop it, it's not worth the commotion. That's why I didn't tell you, you would - you are making a storm out of the teacup. That is nothing. That is not important at all. I'm too tired to care about some shit like that. And I've already begged you to help me a year ago and you made it crystal clear that I am on my own in things that really matters."

"I won't allow anybody to hurt you." Itachi ignored the accusations and continued" Not Hatake, not Yamato, not anybody."

And Sasuke burst into the laughter. He shoved his head in his hands and was shaking, muffling titters. "As if earning a few blows was the worst thing in my life. Should I continue? Or can we end it now?" he coughed up between spazms.

"A few blows?! are you telling me ... " Itachi froze, processing the information. His mind went blank. In spite the blood speeding through his veins he felt dizzy and suffocating. He closed the distance between them and caught Sasuke's chin up, taking liberties to move away his fringe to touch the bruise again.

"Show me your arm!" he was shouting already. "What else have he done to you?!" He didn't care, he must know what happened. Not waiting for the boy, he grabbed his right wrist and rolled the sleeve up to expose a bruise he had spotted before. Here it was, along with two others nickel-sized yellowish spots. They ran along the forearm bone and were telling a story of thrusts stopped on the guard kept up well.

"When? " Sasuke was still laughing and seemed glad that the answer hit Itachi. He didn't try to push Itachi away as he grabbed his other hand for check up, unable or not caring to protest in his condition.

"It's not the only time he rise a hand at you, is it?" he hissed through his clenched mouth. Itachi was not even attempting to conceal his anger. His moves became abrupt. Squeeze on ototou wirst was too strong, pulling his arm at the strange angle, but the man seemed not to care.

"Take off your shirt." The command seemed to sober Sasuke up. He fell quiet and stared at Itachi with his charcoal eyes. There was something creeping behind them but whatever it was, it couldn't get through shield of ire that surrounded his brother.

Impatiently he pushed Sasuke on the sofa and grabbed the edges of his shirt. The boy grabbed them too, pulling in the opposite directions.

"Fuck, get off me! Itachi get off me!"

"Don't be childish! Why you make such a mess out of it. I need to know, I deserve to know."

"You deserve nothing! I can't. You can't. Fuck off!"

Sasuke was no match for Itachi. He hardly ever was true opponent for his tensai brother, and year of prison surely didn't move odds to his side. But damn it, he was not going to let anybody do anything they want to him, be it even Itachi. As nii-san was fighting with boy's hands, trying to cleave them out of the fabric, raven kicked him hard in the knee. The man stumbled forward and swore, but in the result he was pinning Sasuke to the sofa with his own weight now.

"Why are you so stubborn?! I am your older brother and I demand to know! How am I supposed to protect you if you lie to me and hide everything from me?! If you won't talk to me, you force me to guess by the extend of the injuries. I demand! You hear me? I demand and I will not take "no" for the answer!"

Only stern look and grimace of disdain answered Itachi. The same he had seen each time they met before the war. The boy kept the elbows near his body, the man held his wrists. Staring face to face, they reached impasse.

"This is all you've got?" Sasuke taunted "So Yamato going violent is not ok, but you can do what you want, ha?"

"Sasuke... " it took all recourses of Itachi's will to resist hitting Sasuke now. Oh, hell well he could understand Hatake now - the though crossed his mind - although he still hated the man. He breathed heavily trying to calm down.

"Sasuke, I am your brother." he said seriously.

With never ceasing disdain in his eyes, young Uchiha spat on the man overpowering him. So much for the brotherly love. Itachi grabbed his chin and squeezed violently. His whole body was shaking with emotions, but he remained still.

"I'm fed up, Sasuke" he loosen his grip and moved away a little bit just to suddenly turn Sasuke over. Caught by surprise, boy shouted but Itachi's hand, tangled in his long hair, pushed his faces to the fabric, muffling his protests. He tried to kick again but with no luck. The man straddling him was out of his reach.

Itachi didn't listen to him, he didn't even hear him anymore. Already Sasuke's shirt was twisted and crumpled, revealing a narrow strip of his white skin just above his waist. Older Uchiha slowly brushed him, put the tips of his fingers there, at the lumbar vertebraes. He contemplated their protrusions and grooves, tension hided in the back muscles. The body under him froze at the touch, and then began to move up and down in shallow breaths, but he didn't registered it, consumed by his own emotions of fury and discovery. He slowly drew brother's shirt up, to his armpits, and held his breath, devouring the sight with his eyes. That was the first time he really saw _them_. Delicate body he loved. Vertebraes like a beads on the string. Shoulder blades protruded as if they were wings growing. Planes of the muscles, although too puny for ninja body, clearly visible through thin skin. All entangled in the dark serpents and claws. He couldn't help himself but to touch _them_. He was reading Sasuke's back like a blind persons reads a book. He traced intricate patterns and took in their message. With mangekyo sharingan, activated unconsciously, he saw how the seals wove around charkra paths, disturbing thier flow, how they descended far more than skin-deep. As sinister as patterns were, Sasuke's body was still beautiful, fascinately marred with them. Itachi's vision became blurred. He stroked the silky skin, tasted it and smeared the wet drops that appeared on it out of nowhere. He could no longer see clearly, but he could feel. There was still lifeforce inside beloved, brutalised body, still fighting.

He moved up and helped Sasuke to turn over at his back, but fastination was stronger that reason. He still kept him under his weight. The body tensed again at the continued inspection. Itachi grabbed his wrists in one hand and pinned it above Sasuke's head, the second examined his abdomen, cupped illac crest then traveled randomly to the patterns on his sternum, ignoring ototou's trembles and nervous whizzes. Finally he reached under hisf his chest on the right, where wide discoloration took its reign. Fingers clenched sharply at the body, insensitive for the discomfort they're causing. Itachi finally turned his sight away from the body beneath him and faced Sasuke. He wished we hadn't.

Charcoal eyed, wide as full moon, but unfocused, hardly meet Itachi's. All anger sank down and conceded to worry. The man cupped the boy's cheeks, but Sasuke flinched away. Startled at the reaction, he moved away, letting ototou free. The boy quickly rolled the shirt down and curled in the corner of the sofa, head hidden between his palms. Itachi observed as his body trembled, as his back moved up and down in shallow, interrupted breaths. Hair flew down to the floor.

"Sasuke"

Nothing. Just more whizzes. He tried to put an arm on his shoulder but stopped half-way burdened with guilt when the boy hissed not to touch him. He kneel in front of him, but didn't dare to get close to him again.

"Niichan, breathe." Was this all his doing? " Count with me to ten. I'll promise I will not touch you again. I'm sorry, I'm really are. I would never..."He had been angry with Sasuke, but surely he didn't want to startle him like that. He didn't do anything, so what was this reaction about? Did he step over another line he didn't even know existed? Is it because of the seals? Or.. ? Is it even possible ototou thought he would...? Have somebody ... he felt sick on the slightest thought.

"Sasuke. You need to focus. Listen to my voice. Breathe. One... good... two " everything was so fucked up. And how he could be so blind, not seeing the signs of rising attack, although he assisted Anbu colleagues in such situations hundreds times. They reached ten and the raven seemed to get his breath under control. When they arrived at twenty, young Uchiha managed to suppress trembling, but he remained in curled position.

"Sasuke. I would never hurt you... I would never do this to you..."

But the boy didn't answer. After prolonged silence he stood up, not looking at his brother and lead his steps to corridor. Itachi, finally grasping what Sasuke intents to do, jumped before him.

"No no no. Sasuke, I am sorry. You stay. You are safe here. It's me who needs to go." he admitted bitterly. Using the fact that the boy kept his distance from him now, he quickly put his boots on, grabbed a coat and his bag.

"I would never hurt you Sasuke. I am truly sorry" he didn't earn any goodbye so he just left in shame.

He already lost Hatake. And to top it all, his own brother was afraid of him now. All achieved in one fucking day.

* * *

AN: Thank you all for continuing support through this year! This is probably the last chap in 2016.


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